(Closed) Can I ask my Future Step MIL to NOT wear a certain dress??

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t send her anymore links. She knows how to work the internet and I think would probably just put her off more than she already is. Leave it be. 

Post # 49
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee

google plus sized evening gowns and you’ll see plenty. Macy’s, Nordstrom, Dillard’s all have plus sized eveningwear, as do many other stores.

Post # 51
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think the dress goes well with the other dresses.   But, if you don’t want her in it for whatever reason, perhaps suggest that she might want something in a different colour than the Bridesmaids so her position as one of the ‘Mothers Bride/Groom’ stands out. 

Post # 52
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think that if you guys have been exchanging links, and she sent you a picture of this dress, I would assume she wants your approval on the dress. So just tell her the truth about how you feel about it. I would just say something like “I want you to wear a dress that you feel confident and comfortable in, but, if you’re asking for my input, I think you would look lovely in something {insert description here}. My mom is wearing XYZ if that helps. In the end, though, it’s your decision and I’m happy with whatever you decide”. Then, leave the ball in her court. She can either choose to wear the dress even though it doesn’t really “go”, or she can choose another dress if it’s important to her that she matches with your bridal party.

Post # 54
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally, I think that if this is the dress she wants, you should go back and tell her to go ahead.  Do you think it’s the perfect dress for her? No. Is it what you would choose? No.  Is it more important that she has the right to feel beautiful on that day as well? Yes.  She is obviously trying to work with what she thinks you want….let her off the hook and tell her to use a purple pashmina to pull it together. 

Post # 57
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@misskarianne:  Either way (whether she only wanted it or REALLY wanted it or was just considering it) she obviously thought enough of it to ask you.  You asked our opinions, my opinion is to clearly tell her that she can go ahead if this is the dress of her choosing.  

Post # 58
Member
5166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think she can wear whatever she wants. Her outfit doesnt reflect on you in anyway.

Post # 59
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

sorry I dont get what the big deal is? Let her wear the dress!

Post # 60
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think she needs to match.  My Mother-In-Law is wearing a purple dress to my seafoam green and gold wedding.  Purple is my least favorite color.  I did point out that my mother would be wearing a more formal dress, but she didn’t care.  Not that big of a deal.

Post # 61
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Didn’t see this in my skimming of the other comments – can she just order that same dress in a different color?

FWIW, I also agree that parents of the couple do not need to match the wedding party – in fact, I thought it was just the opposite? I thought they were NOT supposed to wear the wedding colors, but something complementary that would look nice together in photos.

Also, OP, if it makes you feel any better – my Mother-In-Law wore a black dress. She told me it was charcoal gray and asked if I would be okay with that, which I was. When she showed it to me in person, it was black. I didn’t care one bit. Supposedly, the Mother-In-Law wearing black means she’s sad about the wedding, but that wasn’t the case at all – it was just what she thought she looked best in and was most comfortable in, and that was what mattered to me. And no one said a word about it on the wedding day.

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