(Closed) Can I ask my officiant what she is wearing to our wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Every officiant we talked to told us their outfit options up front, usually had a “business casual” type option if the wedding was less formal, or offered suiting/robes or something if we wanted to be more formal. 

As for how to bring it up, vendors are people too, and this is their business. A simple and polite email or phone call to say, “Hi, hope all is well! This may be silly, but it completely slipped my mind to check what you’d be wearing at the ceremony. Do you mind letting us know? Thanks!” I think it’s fair to ask them if you’re truly worried, but I would just ask. I would not frame it as a request to wear something specific unless they reply that they’re wearing jeans. 

But you can also just creep their Wedding Wire reviews or pictures on their websites to see other weddings they’ve done, what they’re worn there, or if any other couples have commented on a lack of professionalism and just rest assured that if your officiant were habitually wearing jeans to weddings, someone would have made it known by now and then just let it go.

Post # 3
4035 posts
Honey bee

We completely forgot about that. My daughter had a black-tie wedding and the officiant showed up in a knee-length black skirt, and 2 piece black top (long sleeved over sleeveless). Yes, she did stick out a bit, in the photos and video. The bridal party was so formally dressed (the ladies all wore Lazaro evening gowns), but I guess that was our fault, for not asking her?

Post # 4
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
rebeccasum:   Our officiant asked what we wanted her to wear in our consultation. 

 I don’t think it’s an odd request and I wish I had asked my DJ what he was going to wear.  For some reason I really don’t like the color red and of course  he’s in all my pictures wearing a bright red dress shirt.  It’s not a big deal really but just saying it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Post # 5
3297 posts
Sugar bee

Ours told us all of the options when we met with her. I don’t think it’s rude to ask her what she will be wearing.

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee

Ours asked about the formality of our wedding, and indicated that she usually wears a dark suit with pants or skirt.  We all agreed that that worked for our event.  I don’t think it would be rude to reach out and confirm that the officiant will be dressed according to the formality of your event.

Additional, most other wedding vendors we talked to also gave us a headsup of what they usually wear while working (ie: photographers, musicians, etc)

Post # 7
1304 posts
Bumble bee


I think its ok to ask the tone of her dress- ie, business casual/formal, etc but I don’t think you can dictate what colors she wears due to concern it will “clash” with what you’re going for. That starts to border on bridezilla-ish.

Does she have a website with pictures? Check out what she’s worn for previous weddings.

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