(Closed) Can I ask them to buy specific shoes?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it OK to ask bridesmaids to buy a specific pair of shoes?
    It's never OK you crazy bridezilla : (13 votes)
    18 %
    It's fine in some situations including this one : (43 votes)
    58 %
    It's always OK to specify extras : (18 votes)
    24 %
  • Post # 3
    8041 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @Bebealways:  I would ask them and see what they say. I don’t see what’s so bad about asking this.

    Post # 4
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    can we see what the shoes look like?  $70 for shoes that aren’t heels may seem weird, unless they are really specific in what they look like.

    Post # 5
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Even if you dont pick a specific dress, they will likely have to buy a new dress anyway to meet the guidelines you have set. I tend to believe that if other things are required, such as hair or specific shoes, the bride would need to pay for them. What if you just give them some guidelines about the shoes, such as color, closed versus open-toed, etc?

    Post # 7
    1070 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wouldn’t be ok with that if I was your bridesmaid. NONE of your guests will notice their shoes, and I think it is a waste of money.  I wouldn’t go further than specifying a shoe height and color

    Post # 9
    9549 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    When i read the title I was all prepared to vote no, but since you’re letting them pick your dress and they’re not ridiculously expensive and there’s a specific reason you want them to match (converse in wedding colors is pretty cool!) then I say – GO FOR IT! If you know any of them are strapped for cash, maybe offer to help?

    Post # 10
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I am the type who as a bridesmaid keep my opinions to myself and as long as it’s within reason will typically wear what a bride wants matching shoes included. That being said I would be super annoyed at having to wear converse when I detest them, and I would feel weird about wearing them with a dress. Yeah I kind of hate converse and  it just isn’t my style, so I be annoyed at spending 70 bucks on them.

    I don’t know that kind of rubs me the wrong way. Plus if they don’t have a tea length purple dress they would have to buy a new one. Anyways I probably shut and begrudingly do it for a wedding. As long as I could take those shoes off at the reception.

    Post # 11
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Hmm… I don’t have a purple tea length dress and I would assume most people won’t. They will probably have to buy them. If you really want them to wear those shoes I would gift them. 

    Post # 12
    6221 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I think this would be totally fine

    Post # 13
    1733 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Ask them how they feel about it and go from there. I would be mildly annoyed, since I wouldn’t wear them afterwards, but I would also appreciate that you had been so flexible on the dress (which, with your guidelines, clearly I would buy in order to wear again). For me, it would balance out, and I’d just try to eBay them or something afterwards.

    Post # 14
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford

    If your girls know you love these shoes and this is all you are sort of “requiring” they buy, aside from a dress of their choice, it may be okay.  I personally LOVE converse shoes, but maybe it would be cuter for the guys to wear them?  You want your girls to feel pretty, and I know you are letting them choose their own dress- maybe give them guidelines for a specific color shoe as well.  Keep in mind they may already be spending a lot on the dress, not because you made them, but because they want one that looks good on them.  Ultimately, it’s YOUR wedding, and as long as you are not asking the girls to spend too much, it’s your decision in the end.   

    Post # 15
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted It’s never ok, but I don’t think you are a crazy bridezilla. The reason why I voted this way is because one of your bridesmaids may have to wear specific shoes due to an injury etc. I had a bridesmaid who had to wear a specific shoe due to her plantar fasciitis. I would never want my bridesmaid to be in pain all day because I asked for specific shoes.

    I did see that you want them to wear converses. But I would ask the girls if they have any problems wearing a shoe that is completely flat. Chuck Taylors, though they are one of my favorite pairs of shoes, don’t offer much support. 

    Ask your girls, see what their opinions are. Tell them to tell you their 100% honest opinions. 

    Post # 16
    2905 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Just on a personal note, I would be really unhappy wearing Converse sneakers with a dress. My feet are kind of wide and don’t fit well in those types of sneakers, and flats + a dress would make my calves look like tree trunks! I would much rather wear a pair of low heels with a bit of arch support. But you know your bridesmaids well enough to know if they have wide feet, I’m sure! I’d just double check to make sure they are ok with that before asking everyone to buy them. 

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