Post # 1
…IF I am not prescribing a dress?
I’m giving them almost free reign on the dress – my guidelines are any shade of purple and no longer than tea length. So they can get something cheap or expensive or whatever they like. I’m not fussy about it.
HOWEVER I want their shoes to match. I have a specific pair in mind. They’re known for comfort (they’re not even heels). Most of my bridesmaids have a quirky style and could probably wear these shoes often after the wedding. They’re $70.
If I’m not making them buy an expensive dress (I don’t care if they go to K-Mart or H&M and get something for $15 or wear a purple dress they already have or whatever) is it ok to ask them to buy $70 shoes? Or am I being too controlling?
Post # 3
@Bebealways: I would ask them and see what they say. I don’t see what’s so bad about asking this.
Post # 4
can we see what the shoes look like? $70 for shoes that aren’t heels may seem weird, unless they are really specific in what they look like.
Post # 5
Even if you dont pick a specific dress, they will likely have to buy a new dress anyway to meet the guidelines you have set. I tend to believe that if other things are required, such as hair or specific shoes, the bride would need to pay for them. What if you just give them some guidelines about the shoes, such as color, closed versus open-toed, etc?
Post # 6
I did a quick google and it seemed bad, but it was always in the context of “I’m already buying an expensive dress I don’t even like, I don’t want to buy shoes too.” But since my situation was different I hoped it was more reasonable.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be ok with that if I was your bridesmaid. NONE of your guests will notice their shoes, and I think it is a waste of money. I wouldn’t go further than specifying a shoe height and color
Post # 8
:3 I want them to wear custom converse in my colors. (It’s not super crazy looking, I swear haha) I’ve had 2/5 of them already go “heck yeah that sounds awesome” back when I first was imagining it (the ones who I know for sure would totally wear them all the time after) but I haven’t really broached it with the other ones yet!
Post # 9
When i read the title I was all prepared to vote no, but since you’re letting them pick your dress and they’re not ridiculously expensive and there’s a specific reason you want them to match (converse in wedding colors is pretty cool!) then I say – GO FOR IT! If you know any of them are strapped for cash, maybe offer to help?
Post # 10
I am the type who as a bridesmaid keep my opinions to myself and as long as it’s within reason will typically wear what a bride wants matching shoes included. That being said I would be super annoyed at having to wear converse when I detest them, and I would feel weird about wearing them with a dress. Yeah I kind of hate converse and it just isn’t my style, so I be annoyed at spending 70 bucks on them.
I don’t know that kind of rubs me the wrong way. Plus if they don’t have a tea length purple dress they would have to buy a new one. Anyways I probably shut and begrudingly do it for a wedding. As long as I could take those shoes off at the reception.
Post # 11
Hmm… I don’t have a purple tea length dress and I would assume most people won’t. They will probably have to buy them. If you really want them to wear those shoes I would gift them.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think this would be totally fine
Post # 13
Ask them how they feel about it and go from there. I would be mildly annoyed, since I wouldn’t wear them afterwards, but I would also appreciate that you had been so flexible on the dress (which, with your guidelines, clearly I would buy in order to wear again). For me, it would balance out, and I’d just try to eBay them or something afterwards.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2013 - The Gables at Chadds Ford
If your girls know you love these shoes and this is all you are sort of “requiring” they buy, aside from a dress of their choice, it may be okay. I personally LOVE converse shoes, but maybe it would be cuter for the guys to wear them? You want your girls to feel pretty, and I know you are letting them choose their own dress- maybe give them guidelines for a specific color shoe as well. Keep in mind they may already be spending a lot on the dress, not because you made them, but because they want one that looks good on them. Ultimately, it’s YOUR wedding, and as long as you are not asking the girls to spend too much, it’s your decision in the end.
Post # 15
I voted It’s never ok, but I don’t think you are a crazy bridezilla. The reason why I voted this way is because one of your bridesmaids may have to wear specific shoes due to an injury etc. I had a bridesmaid who had to wear a specific shoe due to her plantar fasciitis. I would never want my bridesmaid to be in pain all day because I asked for specific shoes.
I did see that you want them to wear converses. But I would ask the girls if they have any problems wearing a shoe that is completely flat. Chuck Taylors, though they are one of my favorite pairs of shoes, don’t offer much support.
Ask your girls, see what their opinions are. Tell them to tell you their 100% honest opinions.
Post # 16
Just on a personal note, I would be really unhappy wearing Converse sneakers with a dress. My feet are kind of wide and don’t fit well in those types of sneakers, and flats + a dress would make my calves look like tree trunks! I would much rather wear a pair of low heels with a bit of arch support. But you know your bridesmaids well enough to know if they have wide feet, I’m sure! I’d just double check to make sure they are ok with that before asking everyone to buy them.