Can I ask this? What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Was he invited? If not, then it might not be the best idea to bring him. If you are given a date then by all means

Post # 4
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

No. Thats why I asked if he was invited. No, he cannot take the parents place. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear the first time.

Post # 6
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

If you weren’t invited with a +1 then no, you can’t bring him. But I will say that if you have an SO and weren’t invited with him, I feel that is rude on the bride/groom’s part.

Post # 7
Member
4529 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It isn’t your place to decide who takes the place of your parents if they are unable to attend. The bride and groom may have many other people they would prioritise to take those places. 

 

Post # 8
Member
8962 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

CaliforniaLovin :  I think it would be fine to ask. Or what if your mom asks? She could call up her sister or nephew and explain that they won’t be able to make it, but would it be ok if your boyfriend comes instead. I don’t see the harm. 

Post # 9
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

CaliforniaLovin :  I don’t think it’s rude to inquire. You’re on weddingbee so you’re obviously in a very serious long term relationship and I stalked your profile to check if you’re young or something and you are very much an adult, so they probably should have invited him. No harm asking and then respecting it if they refuse. 

Post # 10
Member
2967 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

no, don’t ask and don’t have someone else ask for you either. i had to deal with both situations when i was planning my wedding and it was very frustrating and awkward having to tell people no.

Post # 11
Member
723 posts
Busy bee

I too think it would be fine to ask. I have a friend does similar (her Darling Husband can’t come so she ask if her mom that was in town can come) and I am happy to have her mom on my wedding. It is not like your family increase their guest count. Just be very courteous when asking and accept their answer either way.

Post # 12
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

It should be fine to ask. Especially since you’re family. Just make sure you ask in a way where the bride and groom don’t feel obligated to say yes (as in, don’t say flat out that you won’t go if he can’t—even if that’s the situation.)

Post # 13
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Well, he’s your significant other and as such should have been invited anyways. So they were rude for not including him. Since you have to travel and having a travel companion is preferable for you, Id ask. But I’m also someone who wouldn’t go if they said he couldn’t come after asking. 

Post # 14
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

In my family, all SO’s would be invited. So your bf prob should’ve gotten an invitation IMO (unless maybe you literally just started dating). BUT I wouldn’t try to switch in guests to take your parents’ place.

Post # 15
Member
36 posts
Newbee

I think it’s fine to ask. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding I had to travel for and I wouldn’t know most of the people there. She sent me an invitation but forgot to mention I had a plus one. (Entire bridal party did.) I wound up asking her and she apologized for forgetting to tell me. 

You won’t know until you ask. I would have immensely regretting not checking with her because I would have been pretty lonely for no good reason.

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