Post # 1
My cousin (mom’s sister’s son) is getting married this May in Texas. (ETA: I am in California). I was invited and so was my mom and dad. We are not super close with that side of the family (not sure if this matters) but to me family is family and it’s important.
My parents have a prior commitment and will not be attending. Is it horribly rude if I ask if my boyfriend (who both my cousin and his fiancé have met) attend in one of their places? It is definitely not ideal for me to go alone and not know too many people other than a few family members who I am not close with. Their wedding is going to be about 200 people (not sure if this matters either).
Has anyone dealt with a scenario like this?
Post # 2
Was he invited? If not, then it might not be the best idea to bring him. If you are given a date then by all means
Post # 3
@theatrejulia no I was not given a plus one and he was not invited by name. I would definitely not just show up with him and surprise them, but I meant is it rude to ask if he take one of my parents places since they are not going
Post # 4
No. Thats why I asked if he was invited. No, he cannot take the parents place. Sorry if I didn’t make that clear the first time.
Post # 6
If you weren’t invited with a +1 then no, you can’t bring him. But I will say that if you have an SO and weren’t invited with him, I feel that is rude on the bride/groom’s part.
Post # 7
It isn’t your place to decide who takes the place of your parents if they are unable to attend. The bride and groom may have many other people they would prioritise to take those places.
Post # 8
I think it would be fine to ask. Or what if your mom asks? She could call up her sister or nephew and explain that they won’t be able to make it, but would it be ok if your boyfriend comes instead. I don’t see the harm.
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s rude to inquire. You’re on weddingbee so you’re obviously in a very serious long term relationship and I stalked your profile to check if you’re young or something and you are very much an adult, so they probably should have invited him. No harm asking and then respecting it if they refuse.
Post # 10
no, don’t ask and don’t have someone else ask for you either. i had to deal with both situations when i was planning my wedding and it was very frustrating and awkward having to tell people no.
Post # 11
I too think it would be fine to ask. I have a friend does similar (her Darling Husband can’t come so she ask if her mom that was in town can come) and I am happy to have her mom on my wedding. It is not like your family increase their guest count. Just be very courteous when asking and accept their answer either way.
Post # 12
It should be fine to ask. Especially since you’re family. Just make sure you ask in a way where the bride and groom don’t feel obligated to say yes (as in, don’t say flat out that you won’t go if he can’t—even if that’s the situation.)
Post # 13
Well, he’s your significant other and as such should have been invited anyways. So they were rude for not including him. Since you have to travel and having a travel companion is preferable for you, Id ask. But I’m also someone who wouldn’t go if they said he couldn’t come after asking.
Post # 14
In my family, all SO’s would be invited. So your bf prob should’ve gotten an invitation IMO (unless maybe you literally just started dating). BUT I wouldn’t try to switch in guests to take your parents’ place.
Post # 15
I think it’s fine to ask. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding I had to travel for and I wouldn’t know most of the people there. She sent me an invitation but forgot to mention I had a plus one. (Entire bridal party did.) I wound up asking her and she apologized for forgetting to tell me.
You won’t know until you ask. I would have immensely regretting not checking with her because I would have been pretty lonely for no good reason.