Post # 1
I invited a coworker of mine who I really like to our wedding (both her and her husband). I know she got her invite b/c she mentioned to me that she thought it was pretty. A few days before our RSVP deadline I mentioned it to her through messenger at work – I was trying to get a final count a few days early as family we had not invited suddenly wanted to come, and I was trying to see if they would fit. My coworker kind of blew me off, saying the RSVP deadline hadn’t passed and that she’d get back to me, not sure of schedules, etc. Well, now our RSVP deadline has passed, and we’ve followed up with everyone and she is my only outstanding RSVP. I tried text-messaging her today (we’re not in the office at the same time lately) and tried to make it super casual, b/c I felt bad calling her out after she’d said she was mailing it and was aware of the deadline.
My instinct is that she’s not coming and for whatever reason doesn’t want to say so, though it honestly won’t offend me at all. I hate to ask her again, and I’d hate to have awkwardness face to face. My other coworker is telling me that non-rsvp girl never goes to coworkers events, and just to write her off, but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do.
Post # 3
I think ettiqute would dicate asking her personally as in a phone call or face to face. But I can understand why you wouldn’t want to- seeing that she has sort of blown you off twice.
But if you ask her a third time you know you’ve really tried the best you can. That’s my only advice. Sorry about the situation!
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I’d definitely ask her face to face. I know it might feel awkward, but just don’t make a big deal out of it – casually mention that you have to have a final headcount and that you didn’t see her RSVP. Maybe even mention that it could have gotten lost in the mail!
Post # 5
I’d honestly mention it again and just say “hey I think your rsvp got lost in the mail. Are you going to be there?” It’s non-confrontational and if she starts getting worked up, just tell her that your caterer wants to get a headcount so that they can order the correct amount of a certain dish or something along those lines.
Post # 6
i would ask her. we got a lot of surprise ‘yes’ rsvp’s that we thought would be no’s, so you really never know until you hear it from the person.
Post # 7
That’s odd. BUt I truly don’t think we brides can assume anything! Try, try again!
Post # 8
as someone who frequently begs off from giving an rsvp answer to invitations (of the Not Wedding Related kind…still sucky of me and I am better now that i’ve begun being a host and realize what’s at stake), i don’t think this person would mind AT ALL if you called her and said that you remember she wasn’t sure prior to the rsvp deadline but that you need your final count by this point. let her know that you understand that she might have a conflict, because she might be avoiding you for fear of upsetting you (ironic, b/c she’s upsetting you by avoiding you). good luck.
Post # 9
Murphy’s Law – I post this post and I finally get a text back saying she isn’t coming. So I am happy to avoid having to ask a third time or having an awkward, in person moment. Though I’m still baffled as to why someone who had seemed excited to come suddenly started avoiding me and seemed to blow me off over this. At least I have my final headcount now!