(Closed) Can I assume this guest isn’t coming?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think ettiqute would dicate asking her personally as in a phone call or face to face. But I can understand why you wouldn’t want to- seeing that she has sort of blown you off twice.

But if you ask her a third time you know you’ve really tried the best you can. That’s my only advice. Sorry about the situation!

Post # 4
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I’d definitely ask her face to face. I know it might feel awkward, but just don’t make a big deal out of it – casually mention that you have to have a final headcount and that you didn’t see her RSVP. Maybe even mention that it could have gotten lost in the mail! 

Post # 5
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d honestly mention it again and just say “hey I think your rsvp got lost in the mail. Are you going to be there?” It’s non-confrontational and if she starts getting worked up, just tell her that your caterer wants to get a headcount so that they can order the correct amount of a certain dish or something along those lines.

Post # 6
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i would ask her. we got a lot of surprise ‘yes’ rsvp’s that we thought would be no’s, so you really never know until you hear it from the person.

Post # 7
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s odd.  BUt I truly don’t think we brides can assume anything!   Try, try again! 

Post # 8
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

as someone who frequently begs off from giving an rsvp answer to  invitations (of the Not Wedding Related kind…still sucky of me and I am better now that i’ve begun being a host and realize what’s at stake), i don’t think this person would mind AT ALL if you called her and said that you remember she wasn’t sure prior to the rsvp deadline but that you need your final count by this point.  let her know that you understand that she might have a conflict, because she might be avoiding you for fear of upsetting you (ironic, b/c she’s upsetting you by avoiding you).  good luck.

Post # 10
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

congrats on finalizing!

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