Post # 1
I just have to vent. Planning a wedding is absolutely fun, and at the same time very stressful. I am really tired of people asking me who is in my bridal party, and a couple of unnerved friends actually asking to be in the bridal party. I have on friend that keeps bothering me about it, and my wedding isn’t for 10 months, so I have not made any official decisions yet. Although in my head I have it set. 🙂 She is kind of a big mouth, so I can’t let her know. Finally the other night, I told her that I really do love her a lot, but this decision is really hard, and I can only pick a couple of people. We are good friends, but honestly not someone I want standing up in my wedding. Anybody else have these issues?? And how do you deal with them?
Post # 3
UGH!!!!! I NEVER thought ANYONE would have the audacity to ask to be a bridesmaid… but then it happened to me (and on top of it, the person who asked me has ALWAYS been absolutely terrible and beyond rude to me… a couple years ago she even physically attacked me… yeah that’s special).
If you’re having a hard time, and there are special people you do really love, but just can’t have them be a bridesmaid… maybe you can give them another special job to do to show them how much you care about them. Some other “special” jobs I’m having people do : readings at ceremony, MC at reception, and a few more that I just can’t think of right now.
Hope that helps.
Just hang in there…. You can’t please everyone, it’s your wedding, you just have to make yourself happy… and maybe the groom…. lol
Post # 4
both my sister and best friend said ‘i’m the maid of honour right?’ well i think it will be my sister, my best friend i am not at all close with anymore and she tends to want to make things all about her and was very rude about bridal party choices, basically she would want everything to be done her way and my way wouldn’t be the right way. i just said i haven’t decided that yet.
Post # 5
I have a friend (who will be in the bridal party) ask me when I’m going to ask my bridesmaids. I’ve told her its too early. She’s been asking for awhile, but I’ve had them picked for like a year. Its working out in her favor though because I think she might be Maid/Matron of Honor instead of another friend. My other friend just isn’t available like I expected (she moved to my part of the country 3 months ago and hasn’t had time to see me even though I would come to her). I thought the friend who asks me questions was going to move far away and soon (her plan since she graduated awhile ago), but she only moved a couple hours away and plans on visiting a lot. My bridesmaids are spread out across the country so I want my Maid/Matron of Honor to be local. Plus this girl and I still talk on a really regular basis and she seems to enjoy hearing about the wedding (she brings it up a lot, which I don’t mind).
I agree with PP just say “I have a lot of close friends and or family members who I would love to include. Unfortunately I just can’t have thirty bridesmaids.”
Post # 6
@Happilyevaafter5: I understand how this would be frustrating… and how it would suck to have to say no, but at the same time I don’t think that girl is doing anything *that* wrong. Yeah, pestering you probably isn’t a good idea, but if you think about it, she cares about you enough that she WANTS to help make your day special. She is willing to sink $200 into a dress she won’t wear again, etc.
I am not sure why brides get so angry when people want to be in the wedding. Maybe I’m just bitter since my family has made it clear that they don’t care about weddings and their attitude has led me to seriously consider eloping (I love the idea of eloping but it would be nice if my family was more enthusiastic).
Just try not to get too frustrated, she wants to do this because she cares about you. Yeah it’s presumptuous, but generally in life you don’t get what you want unless you ask, so maybe that’s why she did that. Let her down gently when the time comes.
Post # 7
Thanks girls, makes me feel better. I know she just really wants to be there for me. Its just hard when I have other girls that I’m closer to. I don’t like hurting other people’s feelings, but I guess that was the risk she took when she asked me out front. I personally would never bother someone about it, and I would never expect to be a bridesmaid. But I guess thats just me! I guess I’ll give her a special job, like making people sign the guest book!
Post # 8
Yep the day I got engaged an old friend I hadn’t talked to in over six months said “I’m a bridesmaid, right?” UMMMM my wedding is three years away and I have no desire to have her as one because we just grew apart. I mean we are still friends but not close enough to have her in my wedding!!!! I just said well I have lots time to figure out all the details. Ugh the nerve!!! still trying to figure out to nip this in the bud.
Post # 10
One of my friends told me a couple years ago, completely randomly (we weren’t even talking about weddings), “We’ve been friends for x amount of years – that guarantees me bridal party status!” I mean, I was planning to ask her when the time comes anyway, but sheesh. The demand kind of turned me off.
ETA: She also expressed resentment over who she assumed I would choose to be my maid of honor. Um, yeah, she’s my best friend and you were JUST your sister’s maid of honor and complaining about how must stress it caused you…
Post # 11
@Happilyevaafter5: Can I be your bridesmaid???
Post # 12
@Jacqui90: Holy crap!!!! I did not to expect to find a date twin this early 🙂
Post # 13
gee I was crying I did’nt have enoguh people to ask ( well who could make it anyway. )
If she wants to help and would be helpful and amazing at It I’d ask her – I did this with a friend she was great for 3 weeks then droped out :/
Post # 14
Yeah people can be so ballsy!!
@alishaloo She would be great at helping to plan, but the day of I know she will only stress me out. She’s the girl that is late to everything, and needs someone watching her when she drinks, because she just gets all over the place. Just really not interested in mothering her on my day. lol.
@alyssaC, hopefully since you have so long till your wedding, maybe you’ll grow even further apart, and she’ll just forget! Otherwise, you’ll probably have to have a long conversation with her. boooo.
@JulesSchnooks NO! 🙂 I’m getting good at this, thanks!