(Closed) "Can I be a bridesmaid?" NO!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

UGH!!!!! I NEVER thought ANYONE would have the audacity to ask to be a bridesmaid… but then it happened to me (and on top of it, the person who asked me has ALWAYS been absolutely terrible and beyond rude to me… a couple years ago she even physically attacked me… yeah that’s special).

If you’re having a hard time, and there are special people you do really love, but just can’t have them be a bridesmaid… maybe you can give them another special job to do to show them how much you care about them. Some other “special” jobs I’m having people do : readings at ceremony, MC at reception, and a few more that I just can’t think of right now.

Hope that helps.

Just hang in there…. You can’t please everyone, it’s your wedding, you just have to make yourself happy… and maybe the groom…. lol

Post # 4
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

both my sister and best friend said ‘i’m the maid of honour right?’ well i think it will be my sister, my best friend i am not at all close with anymore and she tends to want to make things all about her and was very rude about bridal party choices, basically she would want everything to be done her way and my way wouldn’t be the right way. i just said i haven’t decided that yet.

Post # 5
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have a friend (who will be in the bridal party) ask me when I’m going to ask my bridesmaids. I’ve told her its too early. She’s been asking for awhile, but I’ve had them picked for like a year. Its working out in her favor though because I think she might be Maid/Matron of Honor instead of another friend. My other friend just isn’t available like I expected (she moved to my part of the country 3 months ago and hasn’t had time to see me even though I would come to her). I thought the friend who asks me questions was going to move far away and soon (her plan since she graduated awhile ago), but she only moved a couple hours away and plans on visiting a lot. My bridesmaids are spread out across the country so I want my Maid/Matron of Honor to be local. Plus this girl and I still talk on a really regular basis and she seems to enjoy hearing about the wedding (she brings it up a lot, which I don’t mind).

I agree with PP just say “I have a lot of close friends and or family members who I would love to include. Unfortunately I just can’t have thirty bridesmaids.”

Post # 6
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Happilyevaafter5:  I understand how this would be frustrating… and how it would suck to have to say no, but at the same time I don’t think that girl is doing anything *that* wrong. Yeah, pestering you probably isn’t a good idea, but if you think about it, she cares about you enough that she WANTS to help make your day special. She is willing to sink $200 into a dress she won’t wear again, etc.

I am not sure why brides get so angry when people want to be in the wedding. Maybe I’m just bitter since my family has made it clear that they don’t care about weddings and their attitude has led me to seriously consider eloping (I love the idea of eloping but it would be nice if my family was more enthusiastic).

Just try not to get too frustrated, she wants to do this because she cares about you. Yeah it’s presumptuous, but generally in life you don’t get what you want unless you ask, so maybe that’s why she did that. Let her down gently when the time comes.

Post # 8
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Yep the day I got engaged an old friend I hadn’t talked to in over six months said “I’m a bridesmaid, right?” UMMMM my wedding is three years away and I have no desire to have her as one because we just grew apart.  I mean we are still friends but not close enough to have her in my wedding!!!!  I just said well I have lots time to figure out all the details. Ugh the nerve!!! still trying to figure out to nip this in the bud.

Post # 9
Member
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@alyssaC:  date twins!

Post # 10
Member
3668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

One of my friends told me a couple years ago, completely randomly (we weren’t even talking about weddings), “We’ve been friends for x amount of years – that guarantees me bridal party status!” I mean, I was planning to ask her when the time comes anyway, but sheesh. The demand kind of turned me off.

ETA: She also expressed resentment over who she assumed I would choose to be my maid of honor. Um, yeah, she’s my best friend and you were JUST your sister’s maid of honor and complaining about how must stress it caused you…

Post # 12
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Jacqui90:  Holy crap!!!! I did not to expect to find a date twin this early 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

gee I was crying I did’nt have enoguh people to ask ( well who could make it anyway. )

If she wants to help and would be helpful and amazing at It I’d ask her – I did this with a friend she was great for 3 weeks then droped out :/

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