Post # 1
I got the most random FB message on my timeline…for all the world to see. I was best friend’s with this girl when we were in high school, and we stayed in touch regularly after graduation. Five or so years after, we just kinda drifted apart naturally, but were still friends.
So we are only having a Maid/Matron of Honor and best man in our Bridal Party. I met Maid/Matron of Honor three years ago and we are extremely close, so she is my obvious choice. I woke up to this post from high school friend : “Hey ShabbyChicBee, I really miss you, we should hang out more. I’m your best friend and I really want to be in your wedding. Is that ok?”
Er…what?? I haven’t spoke to her in over a year, and the last time I saw her it was just a random get together and we didn’t even hang out together. So yeah I plan on telling her our plans for the Bridal Party, and I know she’s going to get her feelings hurt.
Anyone else have this issue? What did you do?
Post # 3
@ShabbyChicBee: Never had this issue, very very strange thing to do.
I was friends with a girl in high school but we drifted apart. She deleted me from facebook which I found petty, just because we drifted apart doesn’t mean we can’t catch up once in a while…but she obviously felt we weren’t friends. Then I went to a friends birthday dinner and she was there. Turns out she was engaged and getting married 3 weeks after me. Since then she has been trying to add me to facebook, talking to people about me and I don’t understand why. Weddings bring out some odd behaviour in some people!
Post # 4
Um yeah it does! Or like, if ya’ll are getting married close together, you’re instantly friends again or worse – she wants to know stuff about your wedding, eeshk.
I hate to say it, but this made my friend (and yours!) look desperate or something IMO. She got married about 5 years ago, and didn’t invite anyone! But hey that’s her choice. I just know that when I tell her that she is not the chosen one, she’s going to be upset and start some kind of drama, judging from past experience.
And I do not EVEN want that in my life!
Post # 5
@ShabbyChicBee: I didn’t have this issue. But I do suggest you be honest with her and tell her that you are only have one Maid/Matron of Honor and one Best Man and that you have already selected them but that you would be happy to have them as a guest at your wedding. (You don’t have to add the last part in about having them as a guest if you didn’t intend to invite them to the wedding) I was just adding that in to be nice to her
Post # 6
Seriously what is wrong with some people? I’ve read some things on the Bee (like this) that I can’t believe actually happened in real life.
I think the fact that you are only doing a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man gives you an easy “out” with this one…it’s not like you chose 7 BMs and she’s not one of them.
Post # 7
@ShabbyChicBee: I’ve had this but from lesser form from girls that aren’t that close to me. One it didn’t bother me cause I was gonna ask her anyways. others I ask if they could help me with details so they can be apart of wedding plans. Most are teens, that I mentored at One time.
Post # 8
Oh gosh. You just have to be honest and try to make her understand.
I am in a similar situation as well. It is pretty complicated and would take me all day to explain it all but basically have been really close with my cousin (we were born 3 days apart) but had a HUGE blowout a few years ago. I met another girl through my fiance right before our big fight and I would totally choose her over my cousin to be in my wedding. My cousin and I said some terrible things to eachother and did not talk for a few years actually. We just recently started talking again and we’ve hung out a little but it is really hard to try to start fresh. I am glad that we’re getting along again, but it is still weird. My cousin has expressed an interest in wanting to be in my wedding party but I have not really considered asking her. We have decided not to have a wedding party anyways.
Basically, if I were having a wedding party, I would pick my “new friend” over her cause I see us being friends forever. I really do. I think my cousin and I have grown apart and although we will continue to work on our friendship and be civil, the girl who I consider by BFF now has been there for me since the day we met, we get along so well. Her husband and my fiance used to work together and they now have a child. I just see us all being friends for a long time. I could not picture our day without them.
Post # 9
Yes! One of my high school friends asked to be in the wedding, I was honest with her, and now she keeps telling Fiance that I need to make her a bridesmaids! I already have 6 so it’s not like it’s small but we’re just not that close. I have another friend that’s hinted at it but I’ve kinda just brushed it off, but sorta feel bad.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand
That’s kinda creepy… as an outsider I would feel really bad for her, that just comes off creepy and self-entitled maybe? Especially since she didn’t bother even invite you to her wedding and seems to still think you’re best friends? Lol sounds like a winner!
Post # 11
This, and people asking if they can come to the wedding, are two of my biggest wedding pet peeves! I mean COME ON people! If I want you involved or want you invited, I’LL ASK! Do people honestly not realize that each wedding is different, and not all have room for everybody to attend, or for everybody to be in the wedding party? I think I would die before asking people either of these questions.
Post # 12
Yes yes yes, I have had this issue and it is so frustrating. I have also had so many people be like “can I come to your wedding?!” Maybe you can call her and explain the situation to her? I find being honest with people is always teh best route.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Hahaha people are crazy. Well, she put herself out there with that question, and has to be prepared for a possible “no.” If she gets really upset then she is oversensitive. Just tell her you are only having a Maid/Matron of Honor, and she is already chosen. Seriously, people these days.
Post # 14
Lol, that is crazy!!! My little cousin asked to be in the wedding but she is my only cousin so I said of course! I was happy to have her in the bridal party. But your friend, that is just strange. I’d tell her offline that you’re having a small bridal party and sorry but it’s already filled. Is she even invited to the wedding?
Post # 15
I got that question SIX times!
But I explained to them all that since we were having such a small wedding, we were only having two people, and I was having my sister and SIL.
They TOTALLY understood!
Post # 16
Yes, I had this problem too. I have a friend who asked me if she was going to be in my bridal party. We have been friends for a long time but have never really been that close. I have many more much closer and loyal friends. I never had any intention of asking her but just told her that I was really sorry and just wanted to keep things simple. What was worse is that she said ‘I just wanted to be a bridesmaid and if I don’t get to be in your wedding I might never get to be in one’. I was pretty annoyed and don’t feel bad about having to tell her she isn’t in it. I tried to be nice about it though.