(Closed) Can i bring a date to your wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You don’t have to say a word and let your invite do the talking….

Post # 4
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@doubtingdebbieah:  I would just politely tell them that you are on a budget and had not budgeted for their date.  If they have friends who are going point out to them that they will know people at the wedding and will still have fun.  You can also suggest that your fiance may hav some single friends coming as well. 

One of the guys in our wedding party said that to us.  Last wedding we went to with him he asked 5 girls!  He hasnt spoken to her since and she didnt know nayone else there.  She didn’t have fun and he didn’t have as much fun as he could have bcause he was catering to her.   

Post # 5
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

some people will be offended by it (I would), but just make it clear on the invitation.

Post # 6
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My cousin asked me if she could bring her boyfriend to our wedding. I just gave her the truth, which is basically this: our venue maxes out at 110 people – 90 if we want space for a dance floor (and we do). My fiance has a large family so staying under 90 people has been difficult for us. (We’re at 94 right now – ugh.) Right now, we just don’t have the space for dates, especially since giving people dates would mean not being able to invite family that we really, really want to have there. I was straightforward with her, and she was very understanding about it.

That being said, we are giving dates to a couple of people who are coming from out of town and won’t know ANYONE else on our guest list.

I’ve seen a lot of people do the “We have reserved 1 (or 2, or whatever) seat in your honor” on the invitation. It’s a good way to get the message across that only ONE person is invited, no date allowed.

Post # 7
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Agree with @Nona99: address your invites very specifically. This SHOULD avoid these issues.

Post # 8
Member
1544 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m having the same problem! I’m hoping the invites will give people the hint but theyve been saying it for months so i’m still a bit nervous! – oh i’m gonna bring X as my date – I just wanna say -um ur single, you don’t get a date. Why don’t people get this. I would never assume i’m getting a date if i was single.

Post # 9
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I addressed my invites to the individual only (if they had no SO they didn’t get +1) and I just got my first “can I bring so-and-so with me as a date?”

 

ughhhhh so awkward to handle!!!

Post # 10
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Nona99:  People, in general, have a lack of ettiquette and don’t actually read the invite, nor do they understand just “their” name on the envelope means only THEY are invited. 

Post # 11
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

if she still doesn’t get the hint even after you make it clear on the invitation, just explain that due to limited space/budget you can’t accomodate any extra guests. that’s what i told people who tried to bring their boyfriends/girlfriends. most of them understood and were nice about it, but we did have one show up with his girlfriend anyway :/

Post # 12
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Be aware that some people will likely decline to attend. I would.

Post # 13
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We have talked to all of our friends to find out who will NEED a +1 and who’s been in known relationshops.  We’ve agreed once our invites go out in FEB we are not ABLE to add anyone.  We will explain to our guests, if they ask, that our numbers have been given to our vendors and cannot be changed at that point.  But we did consider all of our guest’s situations.

Post # 14
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

just make sure your invite is addressed to only that person. Usually if you are allowed to bring a date, it will be addressed to you “and guest” and the RSVP card will have a space for “number attending.” If you don’t put that on there, that should be enough to let anyone know that dates aren’t allowed. However, some people just don’t get ettiquette, so if it comes up again, you can just politely say “I’m sorry, we aren’t allowing plus ones, we don’t have enough space in our venue.”

Post # 15
Member
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So for those of you saying you would decline to attend —

If you were single and a large group of your friends were attending the wedding, you would still expect to bring a date? You would be so unhappy with not being able to bring a random date that you wouldn’t attend the wedding?

Post # 16
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

To a conversation like that, I’d say:  “We are still working on the invite list and hope to be able to give you a +1, but please don’t be offended if we aren’t able to and invite you solo.” …and then I’d rattle on about how much weddings cost or who you’ve had to cut from your guest list due to costs 🙂

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