Post # 62
I don’t really know if BlueBride wants to know about the legality of the whole thing. I mean, the real issue here is that it was rude of the aunt not to mention it to her until just a few weeks before the wedding! It’s not like she’s going to tell her aunt “It’s within my legal rights to ask you not to bring the dog.” Duh. Anywaaaaay – I definitely think it was rude of her to not only assume you’re ok with it, but to never mention it at all. I can totally see how the idea takes some getting used to. I think if I were you I would let her bring it, but I would definitely have a day or two of being annoyed at not knowing about it, wondering about the behavior of the dog, how trained it is at this point, etc. If I were you, I would ask her about its behavior at this stage in its training, and if it seems ok, go along with it.
Someone mentioned something about the venue possibly making you pay for security deposit for the dog, etc. I know OP didn’t say that happened, but on the off chance it does, THAT would definitely be illegal. 🙂
Post # 63
I voted no way, not because of her wanting to bring the dog, but because of how she brought it up. I would be all for it if she actually asked and made sure that it wouldn’t incur charges on the b & g’s behalf, but the fact that she just jumped in and asked where he should be at during different parts is completely innapropriate I feel. I understand that the dog needs socialized under all sorts of circumstances, but I don’t feel that it is the best environment for a dog in training as any kids and many adults will be very put off about not being able to pet the dog as it isn’t allowed at all during training.
Post # 64
I would say no simply because of the way she handled the situation. So many people have allergies or are very afraid of dogs and because she didn’t give you enough notice you can’t even give your guests a heads up incase they have an allergy/phobia. It’s not really fair to the rest of the guests that may be negatively affected by the dog. I’m sure most people would be fine with it, but you also said the dog was still acting up at Christmas so clearly it isn’t completely trained yet and there is the possibility of it acting out. I don’t think it was fair for her to just dump this on you without even asking how you felt about it. You also said that she isn’t always with the dog so I think she could make an exception for the night to go to your wedding without the dog if she’s gone other places without it before. Regardless of what you decide though, you definitely aren’t being selfish and you shouldn’t feel bad about not wanting the dog there! She was rude by assuming it was okay and she was in the wrong, not you!
Post # 65
I see it in a different light than many other posters. Your aunt is doing a wonderful service to others by training a service animal and you have the amazing opportunity to have your wedding be part of that training. I think it is selfish to prevent this opportunity from occurring because this dog will probably end up at other weddings once it is fully trained and has been matched with an individual. Heck, the dog could lead a blind bride down the aisle at her own wedding someday.
Post # 66
I don’t even think the hotel our wedding is at would let the dog in, but I personally wouldn’t want the dog there. I’m sorry, but I just wouldn’t.
Post # 67
I voted “No Way!” I love dogs. I think service dogs and the people that train them are amazing, but it is not your responsibility to see to it that this dog gets training at a wedding. You have every right to say no and I think it was rude that the Aunt assumed the dog would be allowed. There are a million social opportunities to train that dog. Your wedding shouldn’t be one of them unless you want it to be.
Post # 68
I cannot believe how many people are calling the OP selfish for feeling a little put off by this situation. Like many have stated this is a private event for the bride, the groom, and their families. It a celebration of their marriage. A wedding is not meant for a training exercise ground. I understand that this specific dog is a leader dog in training but that’s just it. The dog is still in training and it is not with a disabled person.
Also to those that ask her whether she would be upset if a disabled person came with the dog… This is a hypothetical situation. It has nothing to do with her actual situation. Even if she says, “of course, I wouldn’t have a problem,” it still doesn’t apply to her specific situation because she isn’t inviting a disabled person with a certified leader dog. There is no logical basis for this argument.
Post # 69
This one is tough. The relative had the responsibility of explainging the situation to you and your Fiance BEFORE she began the planning procedures as if the dog was coming with. It is understandable that the dog needs to be trained, yes. But you should not feel that you have to allow the dog just because it is being trained. This is really a situation where only you and your Fiance can make a decision together. I hope that in the end all is understood and there are no hard feelings on either side. Best of luck!
Post # 70
You know.. I dont think the issue is the dog..I just think the issue is the Aunt NOT asking if she can or can not, and the presumption that it would be okay with out a phonecall. I sure as hell would like to know if a dog is coming to my wedding or not.
Just saying that we should be addressing the aunts actions not the dog being the problem.
Do what you think it is best. if your not comfortable, dont have it. Say that it has to stay outside… :S
Post # 71
As others have said, she has a legal right to bring the dog and therefore does not have to legally ask your permission to bring the dog.
However, etiquitte wise I can understand how you would be upset that she didn’t bring it up even after you have seen her recently. I think if you feel strongly that the dog not participate then you need to address the owner asap so she can make other arrangements. I would just tell her you are a little upset she hadn’t brought it up sooner and that you would really perfer the dog attend the wedding.
I do think you need to be prepared though that she may tell you the dog has a legal right to attend the wedding. Hopefully it won’t come to that, but you may want to be prepared.
Post # 72
OP, why don’t you call your aunt, tell her you’re concerned about the dog not being fully trained yet, and inquire about his/her behavior? Would that help, knowing if it was extremely well behaved, versus a little jumpy?
Post # 73
I didn’t read all the previous posts, but I think its pretty inconsiderate of her to just assume she can bring her dog to a formal event. I would definitely – gently – talk to her about this.
Post # 74
I just want to lend my support and say please do not feel bad about excluding the dog. I don’t understand why most people will say it’s ok to exclude people’s children, but they get upset if you want to exclude a dog?? Does the dog have more rights than a human being?? If people can find babysitters for their children, she can survive making other arrangements for the dog for one night (or she can choose not to go to your wedding).
Post # 75
interesting…i would love for my weiner snausage Aubrey to be at least at the ceremony….she’s so bad though!!! 🙂 I think what would bother me about your situation is the fact that she didnt ask you about it…kind of sounds like she is going over your head to ask the venue if its okay….its like she is saying “i am bringing my dog with me, so long as its okay with your venue…you have no say…” if anything, she should have checked with you to make sure its okay with YOU first, and from there she should have asked for you to contact the venue on her behalf.
Post # 76
Caszos- Weddings are NOT public events. Weddings are private events to which a bride issues private invitations. I have the right to uninvite persons who are inebriated, scantily dressed, obnoxious, disruptive… and yes, just whatever pleases me to uninvite them. This has been discussed- there is nothing in the Americans with Disabilities law that requires me to invite anyone to my private function- nothing! Again, the aunt is not even disabled… she just wants to bring the dog with her. And she did not discuss this with the bride beforehand. What’s next… should the bride be required to wear a “Save the Whales” banner on her train? Absolutely ridiculous to make a young woman’s most important day a platform for your personal good works. Let aunt get her strokes at the mall.