Post # 77
It is within the aunt’s legal rights to wear a white wedding dress to the wedding. Legally, she doesn’t need to ask for the couple’s permission.
Does that make it right?
I’m not sure why people keep throwing out legality like it means anything in this situation. Sure, it’s legal for the aunt to take the dog places. No one is questioning that. But it’s not like she’s going to a restaurant. Or to some other event that was not meticulously planned and did not cost thousands of dollars to put together.
Furthermore, the amount of questions the aunt asked about the venue to see if it would be comfortable for the dog, combined with the OP’s description of the dog jumping on people and begging for scraps, indicates that the dog is not ready. As someone mentioned, training is just that: training. I’m pretty sure if you were training to be a cop, you wouldn’t be allowed pull people over for speeding. Because you’re not a cop. You’re in training. Just like this dog.
Additionally, the OP has indicated that she rarely sees the aunt with the dog, meaning she must make other arrangements with the dog fairly regularly.
And come on guys, LEGALLY the OP doesn’t have to invite anyone to the wedding. LEGALLY she can exclude anyone for any reason. You aren’t LEGALLY obligated to invite someone to an event and pay $30 for them to eat.
So, can we please just dropped LEGALLY from the conversations?
Post # 78
Obviously you have to do as you see fit. I’m in no way saying that what would be right for our wedding would be right for yours, so take this with a grain of salt!
I would be slightly miffed that the aunt didn’t mention the dog beforehand, but I would still let her bring him. I love seeing guide dogs out in our neighborhood – it’s amazing what they do. And I agree with other posters that they go everywhere with their owners, so while it’s reasonable to turn her down because it is your wedding, I would choose to allow the dog in order to help the dog be better prepared for life in service.
I think that the excuse of the distraction/kids is a little beside the point. Yes, the dog is just in training, but if it wasn’t would that change the risk of kids running up to it? One would hope that parents would be responsible enough to teach their children manners and prevent such an episode without the children first asking if it was okay.
Yes, the two are different in that your aunt chose this. So I don’t think you’d be a bad person for saying no. But I do think you’d be doing far more good by saying yes.
Post # 79
i’d let her, but that’s because personally i am extremely comfortable with dogs and i wouldn’t be worried about guest who are not. i really think she called the venues to make sure it was okay before asking you because if the venues said no, what would be the point in stressing you out with the question anyway?
do whatever it is that makes you feel comfortable. surely you don’t need an entire post of opposing opinions to make this any more difficult for you.
Post # 80
Can you exclude kids from your reception? SURE you can.
Can you exclude dogs from your reception? SURE YOU CAN.
You can exclude ANYBODY for ANY reason.
Personally I think that some people are uncomfortable around any dog (or any kid) and there is nothing bad in wanting to be comfortable, especially during a party YOU are paying for.
So, don’t worry!
Post # 81
If she wants to practice then tell her to go to church. This is a wedding! I still say she is RUDE RUDE RUDE for assuming, especially when she has previously managed to go places without the dog.
Post # 82
Hey Everybody, thanks for all your input! While I’m not crazy about the thought of a dog making an appearance at my wedding, I’ve accepted the fact that it might happen. It’s not that my Fiance and I aren’t dog people, we both love dogs, in fact I’ve never met someone who is more of a dog person than him (which may be why his aunt didn’t think the dog would matter). Despite that, he’s super against having the dog as a wedding guest, mainly because of the unpredictability of a puppy.
He’s contacted his aunt (via e-mail) asking that the dog doesn’t come to the wedding. However, if it comes down to either having her whole family at the wedding with the dog or having one of them stay home with the dog, the dog can come. Either way, this situation has bummed me out. If the dog comes, I’ll be worried about if its ok (not if its doing anything bad, but actually if it’s ok, I’m overly sympathetic towards animals) and if it doesn’t come I’ll be worried that his family now hates us. I don’t know if we’ll find out if the dog is coming any time soon, but once I hear I’ll let all of the interested know.
And a little extra note for all of you who were so concerned with the ‘legal’ aspects of this situation. My mom works with a woman who is very familiar with the program my FI’s aunt is working with and the state that we’re having our wedding in apparently has some of the strictest laws as to where dogs in training can’t go (which must be why his aunt was wanting to call in advance). The state also doesn’t count dogs in training as guide dogs, the only ‘rights’ the dog in training has is whatever any dog on the street has. Besides, while his aunt did surprise us with this, she’d NEVER come to us and say “well, legally you have to let this dog in.”
Anyway, that’s for letting me vent a little 🙂
Post # 83
Yes, dogs need to be trained, but why do they need to be trained to be at a wedding? Guests should never be bringing their dog to a wedding unless the couple for some reason has asked people to, explictly stated that they’d like that, etc.
Post # 84
sounds like the aunt could use some behavior training. I think that is really the situation, that it is rude to make a change like that!
Post # 85
hey! i didn’t read the whole tread but i wanted to chime in!
as someone who has raised guide dogs for the blind (for over 10 years), i totally understand their desire to want to bring their puppy, but i also get your point of view.
one thing to think about is that most of these dogs are better behaved than the dogs (kids and adults) you know. they are trained from 8 weeks of age to sit or lay down and not make noise, to be quite and calm. i can’t tell you the number of times that i would go out to eat with my dog and he/she would tuck herself under the table and 2 hours later when we left everyone would see him/her come out and comment on how they didn’t even know a dog was there! i have NEVER seen or had a puppy that i was training or seeing someone else train be a distraction or cause a ruckus (i have seen many kids and adults and dogs that aren’t being trained do this though 😉 ).
that being said, this is your wedding and if you decide you don’t want the puppy there, i would suggest kindly (these dogs we raise are our kids, and we take their training seriously) explaining to the raiser that you understand what an amazing learning opportunity a wedding would be for the puppy, but that you are uncomfortable with having it there for reasons x, y and z (someone has allergies, you don’t want the kids at the wedding to annoy the dog, you want her to be able to dance if she wants and such). as a raiser, i would totally understand, but then i also wouldn’t have even asked, the pup would have stay home for the night (unless it was someone i was super close to and they already knew that my pup in training never left my side) 😉 .
i hope things work out! and if you have any questions about the dogs in such programs (i know about MANY of the training programs) i can tell you approx what the dog would be like, how far along in its training it would be and how calm it should be depending on the age! (any dog over 6 months should be an angle! mine went to a full day of college from age 4 months and on and just slept through class!)
Post # 86
My personal opinion is it would depend on how long she had been training the dog. If the training was just getting started- maybe not a good idea. But once the dogs are into the training, they are well-behaved and I think it wouldn’t be a problem.