(Closed) Can I bring my dog to your wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Family
  • poll: Would you let someone bring a dog to your wedding for a training experience?

    Yes, no problem.

    No way, are they crazy?

    Maybe, it depends on who wants to bring it.

  • Post # 77
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    It is within the aunt’s legal rights to wear a white wedding dress to the wedding.  Legally, she doesn’t need to ask for the couple’s permission.

    Does that make it right?

    I’m not sure why people keep throwing out legality like it means anything in this situation.  Sure, it’s legal for the aunt to take the dog places.  No one is questioning that.  But it’s not like she’s going to a restaurant.  Or to some other event that was not meticulously planned and did not cost thousands of dollars to put together.

    Furthermore, the amount of questions the aunt asked about the venue to see if it would be comfortable for the dog, combined with the OP’s description of the dog jumping on people and begging for scraps, indicates that the dog is not ready.  As someone mentioned, training is just that: training.  I’m pretty sure if you were training to be a cop, you wouldn’t be allowed pull people over for speeding.  Because you’re not a cop.  You’re in training.  Just like this dog.

    Additionally, the OP has indicated that she rarely sees the aunt with the dog, meaning she must make other arrangements with the dog fairly regularly. 

    And come on guys, LEGALLY the OP doesn’t have to invite anyone to the wedding.  LEGALLY she can exclude anyone for any reason.  You aren’t LEGALLY obligated to invite someone to an event and pay $30 for them to eat.

    So, can we please just dropped LEGALLY from the conversations?

    Post # 78
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Obviously you have to do as you see fit. I’m in no way saying that what would be right for our wedding would be right for yours, so take this with a grain of salt! 

    I would be slightly miffed that the aunt didn’t mention the dog beforehand, but I would still let her bring him. I love seeing guide dogs out in our neighborhood – it’s amazing what they do. And I agree with other posters that they go everywhere with their owners, so while it’s reasonable to turn her down because it is your wedding, I would choose to allow the dog in order to help the dog be better prepared for life in service. 

    I think that the excuse of the distraction/kids is a little beside the point. Yes, the dog is just in training, but if it wasn’t would that change the risk of kids running up to it? One would hope that parents would be responsible enough to teach their children manners and prevent such an episode without the children first asking if it was okay. 

    Yes, the two are different in that your aunt chose this. So I don’t think you’d be a bad person for saying no. But I do think you’d be doing far more good by saying yes. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    i’d let her, but that’s because personally i am extremely comfortable with dogs and i wouldn’t be worried about guest  who are not. i really think she called the venues to make sure it was okay before asking you because if the venues said no, what would be the point in stressing you out with the question anyway?

    do whatever it is that makes you feel comfortable. surely you don’t need an entire post of opposing opinions to make this any more difficult for you.

    Post # 80
    Member
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Can you exclude kids from your reception? SURE you can.

    Can you exclude dogs from your reception? SURE YOU CAN.

    You can exclude ANYBODY for ANY reason.

    Personally I think that some people are uncomfortable around any dog (or any kid) and there is nothing bad in wanting to be comfortable, especially during a party YOU are paying for.

    So, don’t worry!

    Post # 81
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If she wants to practice then tell her to go to church.  This is a wedding!  I still say she is RUDE RUDE RUDE for assuming, especially when she has previously managed to go places without the dog.

    Post # 83
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Yes, dogs need to be trained, but why do they need to be trained to be at a wedding? Guests should never be bringing their dog to a wedding unless the couple for some reason has asked people to, explictly stated that they’d like that, etc.

    Post # 84
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2020

    sounds like the aunt could use some behavior training. I think that is really the situation, that it is rude to make a change like that!

    Post # 85
    Member
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    hey!  i didn’t read the whole tread but i wanted to chime in!

    as someone who has raised guide dogs for the blind (for over 10 years), i totally understand their desire to want to bring their puppy, but i also get your point of view.  

    one thing to think about is that most of these dogs are better behaved than the dogs (kids and adults) you know.  they are trained from 8 weeks of age to sit or lay down and not make noise, to be quite and calm.  i can’t tell you the number of times that i would go out to eat with my dog and he/she would tuck herself under the table and 2 hours later when we left everyone would see him/her come out and comment on how they didn’t even know a dog was there!  i have NEVER seen or had a puppy that i was training or seeing someone else train be a distraction or cause a ruckus (i have seen many kids and adults and dogs that aren’t being trained do this though 😉 ).

    that being said, this is your wedding and if you decide you don’t want the puppy there, i would suggest kindly (these dogs we raise are our kids, and we take their training seriously) explaining to the raiser that you understand what an amazing learning opportunity a wedding would be for the puppy, but that you are uncomfortable with having it there for reasons x, y and z (someone has allergies, you don’t want the kids at the wedding to annoy the dog, you want her to be able to dance if she wants and such).  as a raiser, i would totally understand, but then i also wouldn’t have even asked, the pup would have stay home for the night (unless it was someone i was super close to and they already knew that my pup in training never left my side) 😉 .

    i hope things work out! and if you have any questions about the dogs in such programs (i know about MANY of the training programs) i can tell you approx what the dog would be like, how far along in its training it would be and how calm it should be depending on the age! (any dog over 6 months should be an angle! mine went to a full day of college from age 4 months and on and just slept through class!)

     

    Post # 86
    Member
    99 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My personal opinion is it would depend on how long she had been training the dog. If the training was just getting started- maybe not a good idea. But once the dogs are into the training, they are well-behaved and I think it wouldn’t be a problem.

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