(Closed) Can I bring someone not named on the invite?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it ok in this situation to bring my father instead of my boyfriend as my "date"
    yes, since your father was invited anyways : (27 votes)
    57 %
    No, since he is not named on the invite and he declined his own invitation : (11 votes)
    23 %
    It depends, please explain... : (9 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3620 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I tihnk if you call your friend and ask if she minds, this wouldn’t be a problem… I know her wedding is tomorrow, but I’m sure she’d be happier to get the call than to just be confused at the reception when she sees your father and not your fiance!

    Post # 4
    Member
    4001 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think this is something you’d have to check with the bride about.  I wouldn’t of minded if this happened.  But she might have a problem it, just because she may have already done placecards.  I’m sure she’ll be ok with it though. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    can you send her a text and ask? say something like, “sorry to bother you on such a busy day…” and explain the situation?

    Post # 6
    Member
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree with asking first. It probably won’t be a problem, but it’s proper to call and ask.

    Post # 7
    Member
    639 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think it’s alright, since your father was an invited guest already.  If it was a random person that your friend didn’t know, that’s a different story, but since he is obviously known by the bride and indeed was invited himself, I don’t think it’ll be a big deal/problem.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would call her/text her whatever you need to do to ask her, it’s her wedding and you don’t want to offend her or upset her.

    Post # 9
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would also call her and explain your situation. Just be prepared if she says no to accept that. You don’t want to cause her any stress on her day, so respect her wishes either way she goes.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3620 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Definitely agree with the placecard point – don’t stress out the bride by catching her off guard on the day of. I’d reach out to her for sure.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i would ask first – since you are trying to sub in for someoen who cant come at the last minute so a meal isnt wasted, and its probably not a big deal since he was invited anyway just declined.

    im sure it will be fine, but i would be polite and ask her (or her mom or whomever is doing the hosting of the meals etc.) if its ok.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1752 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yeah, I’d call.  If he was already invited, you know it’s not someone that she doesn’t want there, I wouldn’t find it to be a problem if I were the bride.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think its considerate of you to recognize that your boyfriend’s meal has been paid for.

    So, was your Dad sent an invite and he declined?

    Definately keep trying to get a hold of her just to double check.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Bring your dad! It’s totally fine. What matters is that the meal count remain the same, which is what you’re doing. I think it’d be worse to show up by yourself when you rsvp-ed for 2 people. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Definitely call and find out first… but, if she doesn’t respond or you can’t get a response from anyone close to her – I’d say definitely bring your dad!  You want to fill the already paid for seat, IMO, than not.

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