(Closed) Can I disinvite my boss?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

I don’t think it would be a wise career move to disinvite your boss. It was the polite thing to do–inviting her in the first place, and it’s good that you took the high road and included her! And that’s where you should stay…on the high road. Just ignore her comments…it sounds like she doesn’t have very many social skills. You won’t be interacting with her much at your wedding…you’ll barely even know she is there. If you were ready to quit your job and walk out of there this second, then you might be able to get away with disinviting her, but I would say to just let it be and ignore her comments. Good luck…

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I guess it’s too late to do anything now. I don’t think disinviting her is a good idea unless—You are changing job soon.

I totally understand how you feel right. However, disinviting her at this point will definately make her look very bad among your co-workers and SHE WILL CAUSE YOU MUCH MORE TROUBLE IN THE FUTURE FOR SURE!

For her type of people, try to ignore what she says and does. Don’t let her ruin your mood. Focus on your wedding and wish you all the best!

 

 

Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Nope, I don’t think you can disinvite her.  Just seat her as far away from you as possible and don’t talk to her on your wedding day except to be civil and brief IF she approaches you.  If you disinvite her, she will surely retaliate in some way.  Disinviting her is not the way to stand up to her rudeness; it will actually look like you are the one being rude.  I think it would be wiser to simply stand up for yourself next time she says something unkind at work.

Post # 6
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • e
  • 11 years ago

on the same thread…i don’t really want to invite my boss either.  but is it bad if i invite my entire team except her?  no one has been invited yet..

Post # 7
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

e – as a general rule, when it comes to workplace invites, you should either invite your entire team (including your boss) or you should invite only those you socialize with outside of work.  Either of these strategies are perfectly polite.  But if you invite all but one person, it will be noticed that you excluded them.  Maybe it would be better to invite only the team members you’re closest to but not everyone.

Post # 9
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I’d first and formost tell her you dislike the treatment she’s given you and that it’s not very professional of her. I’m sure a quik reminder that she’s not the end of the line in management (as I’m sure there is someone above her) would maybe put her in her place. Be careful though as she is your boss the wrong wording choice could land you in trouble

So…if you are uncomfortable with that, which is understanadable I would do this:

Go to her suprior and explain the situation – leave out that you’ve invited her to your wedding and want her to not come – as that’s a out of work thing and you want the in-work stuff to be taken care of. Ask her suprior to discuss with her whats ok and not ok for her to speak about at work and at best and very least maybe she will stop being such a horrible sack of crap. lol.  

No one deserves to be treated like that at work, and I’d have fired any of my employees who acted that way towards anyone while I was managing. 

Post # 10
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Sounds like you are indeeed frustrated, I would be too. Hey, maybe she’ll go to the football game instead. Has she indeed replied yes or mentioned if she is coming? I wouldn’t disinvite her, but definitely stick her at a bad table and don’t let her ruin your day. I agree that it would be better to take the high road. If you disinvite her it will create further confrontation and ill feelings between the two of you and that might make you feel even worse. Just enjoy your day and your other guests! 😀

Post # 11
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Alison – I would try to seat her at a separate table from your closest coworkers, maybe you can get away with it if she’s a little older than most of your coworkers.  Then you could just say you seated her with people more in her own age group so they’d have more in common?  I don’t know if you have a situation kind of like mine, but we have a handful of guests that I have no choice but to invite who I know are going to be "difficult" guests – they can be inappropriate, loud and argumentative too.  I’m just going to seat them all at the same table and leave the rest of my guests in peace!  Sounds like your boss would be an ideal candidate for that table.  Hehe.  Just a thought.

Post # 13
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Haha I’m a bit worried about explosions and catastrophes too.  Oh well.  I’m not sure if it’s a better strategy to leave them all at one table and risk World War III but at least contain it to one table, or spread them around the room to reduce the overall intensity but have more guests throughout the wedding have to deal with them.  I’m leaning towards World War III at one table.  (I’m also somewhat exaggerating, but you get the gist…)

Post # 14
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I had to laugh after reading that your boss had issues with your wedding conflicting with football.  I actually heard the same comments from my sister.  She and my mother will not be attending my vow renewal ceremony because they prefer to go see the Patriots play.

 

Post # 15
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

wow, i dont think you can disinvite her now, but i agree that you can seperate her from your other "real friends" coworkers.  especially if you do the young table/ old table thing. only 1 of our bosses came and she spoke to me for ~1 sentence (which happened to be completely rude and regarding children at our wedding) & then left the reception before dinner without a word. oh yeah & she did not bring even a card. altho she was completely rude, you cannot imagine my relief during introductions when i looked over at her table and saw that she left! here’s hoping your boss will either not show or leave early!!!

Post # 16
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

bottom line: you can not invite your boss if your okay with more hell at work

The topic ‘Can I disinvite my boss?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors