(Closed) Can I donate some of the gifts I got double of to a friend?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I donate double gifts?
    Yes you can : (70 votes)
    86 %
    No you can't : (2 votes)
    2 %
    That's tricky : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1510 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    They are your gifts to do as you please. I wouldn’t worry about it not being “protocol”. If they are doubles I don’t see a big deal and even if they aren’t doubles and you know you won’t use the item, they will be going to someone who needs it!  I think it’s a great thing:)

    Post # 4
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I can see how some people might be a little bit like “the gifts were intended for you to enjoy”, but I think once you give a gift you can’t really dictate what happens to it either.

    Post # 5
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I agree with the ladies above but I would also do my best to make sure guests didn’t find out. On their side of things people might feel like you didn’t like it or appreciate it, even though you would be doing an extremely nice gesture!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MsSteelTea:  I would agree with PP that I think it is perfectly fine to donate your gifts if they are doubles and given the situation with one of your friends, you are doing a kind and generous thing for them. And I would also agree with the fact that don’t let it get back to the people that you received the gifts from. 🙂 

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    23597 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I say sure!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1177 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    As long as you graciously and promptly thank the giver, the gift is yours to do with as you wish. So don’t sweat it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Thank those who gave you gifts, then do as you like. I wouldn’t advertise that you’re giving their gifts away… that might hurt them, even i they are duplicates. But I think giving these to your friend is a nice gesture :o)

    Post # 10
    Member
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee

    That is incredibly thoughtful of you!  One thing to keep in mind (and I’m really not trying to an old hag or anything!) is that insurance will replace much of what they lost as long as they have it.

    Just presenting another thing to put into the mix here.  We have new replacement value on everything.  If my Kitchenaid is burnt in a fire, it will be replaced.

    Would this woman know these were duplicates from your shower?  If I knew, I would not be able to accept them.  There would be a pride thing and a “OMG I can’t accept your shower gifts..” thing going on in my head.

    You sound wonderfully generous and the world needs a lot more people like that.  Just want you to keep some of the other factors in mind so that if there is some other type of help she really needs you might be able to help there instead.

    What a devastating loss!

    Post # 11
    Member
    13289 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Given the circumstances, I would say anyone who gets mad that you chose to give gifts to someone who lost everything they literally own needs to get a lesson in sympathy. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    that My first thought is that its so sweet, the second thought is that it might not be the best idea. Insurance will replace everything and those gifts were bought for you. If I bought you a duplicate gift that you gave away I’d feel hurt– I spent the money to celebrate you, not for you to give the unwanted gifts to someone else.

    Post # 13
    Member
    9548 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I agree, I think it’s fine. Thank the givers but I wouldn’t offer up what you’re planning to do with them. Then offer them to your friend. She may or may not take you up on it, but I’m sure she would be so grateful.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3718 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My first thought is that its so sweet, the second thought is that it might not be the best idea. Insurance will replace everything and those gifts were bought for you. If I bought you a duplicate gift that you gave away I’d feel hurt– I spent the money to celebrate you, not for you to give the unwanted gifts to someone else.I’d totally understand and wouldn’t say anything, but I would have prefered for you to enjoy your gifts. If she is a good mutual friend we will take care of her too.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3229 posts
    Sugar bee

    Very thoughtful of you! Go ahead!!!

    Post # 16
    Member
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think you should go ahead.  Even if insurance does cover everything, it will be a while before the insurance claim is processed so they can use any help they can get.  I think it’s very sweet of you to donate these!

     

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