Post # 1
So I just had my bridal shower which was lovely! I really appreciated everyone and felt so loved. It was a wonderful day. I noticed a little ways in that one of my bridesmaid’s sister wasn’t in attendance. I didn’t enquire, but it wasn’t long until I learned why. Her house burnt down the night before! They lost everything and I was completely in shock. She is a brilliant person, sweet as anything and I was thinking, since I recieved a few doubles, could I donate them to her or is that not okay?
I don’t know why I’m worried about it, but I’m afraid someone might think I’m being ungrateful? Or maybe that it isn’t protocol? I’m not sure. I do know though that I want to help and I just got so much, I don’t think it would be too bad. Or is it? What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
They are your gifts to do as you please. I wouldn’t worry about it not being “protocol”. If they are doubles I don’t see a big deal and even if they aren’t doubles and you know you won’t use the item, they will be going to someone who needs it! I think it’s a great thing:)
Post # 4
I can see how some people might be a little bit like “the gifts were intended for you to enjoy”, but I think once you give a gift you can’t really dictate what happens to it either.
Post # 5
I agree with the ladies above but I would also do my best to make sure guests didn’t find out. On their side of things people might feel like you didn’t like it or appreciate it, even though you would be doing an extremely nice gesture!
Post # 6
@MsSteelTea: I would agree with PP that I think it is perfectly fine to donate your gifts if they are doubles and given the situation with one of your friends, you are doing a kind and generous thing for them. And I would also agree with the fact that don’t let it get back to the people that you received the gifts from. 🙂
Post # 8
As long as you graciously and promptly thank the giver, the gift is yours to do with as you wish. So don’t sweat it.
Post # 9
Thank those who gave you gifts, then do as you like. I wouldn’t advertise that you’re giving their gifts away… that might hurt them, even i they are duplicates. But I think giving these to your friend is a nice gesture :o)
Post # 10
That is incredibly thoughtful of you! One thing to keep in mind (and I’m really not trying to an old hag or anything!) is that insurance will replace much of what they lost as long as they have it.
Just presenting another thing to put into the mix here. We have new replacement value on everything. If my Kitchenaid is burnt in a fire, it will be replaced.
Would this woman know these were duplicates from your shower? If I knew, I would not be able to accept them. There would be a pride thing and a “OMG I can’t accept your shower gifts..” thing going on in my head.
You sound wonderfully generous and the world needs a lot more people like that. Just want you to keep some of the other factors in mind so that if there is some other type of help she really needs you might be able to help there instead.
What a devastating loss!
Post # 11
Given the circumstances, I would say anyone who gets mad that you chose to give gifts to someone who lost everything they literally own needs to get a lesson in sympathy.
Post # 12
that My first thought is that its so sweet, the second thought is that it might not be the best idea. Insurance will replace everything and those gifts were bought for you. If I bought you a duplicate gift that you gave away I’d feel hurt– I spent the money to celebrate you, not for you to give the unwanted gifts to someone else.
Post # 13
I agree, I think it’s fine. Thank the givers but I wouldn’t offer up what you’re planning to do with them. Then offer them to your friend. She may or may not take you up on it, but I’m sure she would be so grateful.
Post # 14
My first thought is that its so sweet, the second thought is that it might not be the best idea. Insurance will replace everything and those gifts were bought for you. If I bought you a duplicate gift that you gave away I’d feel hurt– I spent the money to celebrate you, not for you to give the unwanted gifts to someone else.I’d totally understand and wouldn’t say anything, but I would have prefered for you to enjoy your gifts. If she is a good mutual friend we will take care of her too.
Post # 15
Very thoughtful of you! Go ahead!!!
Post # 16
I think you should go ahead. Even if insurance does cover everything, it will be a while before the insurance claim is processed so they can use any help they can get. I think it’s very sweet of you to donate these!