- 1 year ago
Wow, I’m so disheartened to have to write for advice on this topic as my relationship is seemingly perfect with the exception of one thing.. a big thing.. his extremely close relationship to his mother.
We are in our 30s and have each had other long term relationships prior. Our relationship is strong, we have great fun, trust, respect, etc. However, I can’t seem to get any power over his need to see his mother as much as he sees me!
Up until recently, he still lived with her – however, he’s a consultant that travels most days of the year. So the living with mom part didn’t initially turn me off, since it sort of makes sense if he’s only home for three days a week and we live in a very high cost living area. He’s stays with me nights when he is home, however, in those three days he is home he spends an ENTIRE day and a half with his mother. So I get the other day and a half. It is insanely bizarre to me that he needs to see her this much? Granted, I am not close with my mother (and she lives far) but I feel like ONCE a week is surely enough visiting.
This past long weekend, I was shocked that I even lost the battle as he spent the typical 1.5 days with us each but then also went home to mother on the bank holiday. Like what!? She got an entire extra day.
I know I have to tread very lightly as I will lose the battle against his lifelong bond, but do I have any hope here? Their relationship, forutnately, seems pretty normal (besides the excessive visits). When he’s with her, in front of me anyway, they seem like any normal mother / son relationship. She doesn’t dote on him, he sorta just chats with her while side watching sports. Nothing odd in person.. but WHY the need to be with her SO much?
I have asked him, he says she’s lonely.. But I am too?
Anyway, this is 99% rant – but I want to know are there any women out there who suffered a similar experience but have come out with a WIN on the other side? Like, is this just growing pains since he only recently bought his own place.. is it just a comfort thing.. is this a HUGE red flag like it feels like it is.. Please share your experience, encouragement, words of wisdom?