(Closed) Can I ever trust the love of my life? Trust issues/women problems

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If they aren’t super recent, and you’ve made peace with it in the past, I say drop it and continue with your relationship. However, if it continues, get the hell out. If you can’t trust him now, after the amount of time you’ve spent together, you probably never will be able to. 

Post # 5
Member
3476 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

“but can I trust him ever?”

You clearly don’t trust him now, with good reason, and it sounds like he’s got not interest in changing his behavior, so I don’t see how that’s going to change… 

“What is going on?”

It sounds like you’re a lot more committed to this relationship than he is. He enjoys these flirtations (and maybe more???) and even though he knows they hurt you, he has made no effort to stop them. 

“And what’s up with the fake account he made?”

This just seems like game playing to me– maybe he’s hoping to start an emotional connection with you as the other guy to prove to himself that given the opportunity you’d act the same way he does? 

I see A LOT of red flags here; if it were me, I’d leave.  He clearly isn’t as committed to you as you are to him, and he’s making no effort to change that– KNOWING that you’re aware of his actions.  

ETA: 

Sorry, just saw your update– how old are these? Was it before you confronted him about being uncomfortable with how “friendly” he is with these woman? If so, then you’re just finding more evidence from the past, and shouldn’t dwell on it.  But if they’re AFTER that, then what I said before applies.  

Post # 7
Member
11274 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am going to sound harsh, and I don’t mean to be hurtful to you.  However, this guy has shown  you — repeatedly and consistently — who he really is.  Believe  him.

No one can tell you what to do with your own life and future. However, I just want to note that, just because you have incredibly strong emotions for someone, and have had a long history with him, does not  mean that the person is right for you. 

Research suggests that whatever a person is before he or she is married, he or she will only be more of once he or she is married. If you cannot see yourself living with this much uncertainty, lack of trust, and suspicion for the rest of your life, then you should not attempt to stay in this relationship.

Post # 8
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This guy sounds like a piece of work.  Save yourself now and get away.

Post # 9
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would leave. He sounds young and immature.

Post # 10
Member
7978 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly it sounds like he’s gotten away with being sneaky, telling lies and possibly cheating and I doubt that’s going to change in the relationship. I don’t think I could get over the trust issues. 

Post # 11
Member
9567 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

While he hasn’t PHYSICALLY cheated on you he has EMOTIONALLY cheated on you, several times. It is still cheating, run as fast as you can. Find someone who would never do that to you!!!!

Post # 12
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It sounds like he was cheating or obviously at the very least looking for someone to either cheat with or looking for someone new. I would have a hard time trusting him after that. If there’s cheating in a relationship that always means there is problems going on. 

He doesn’t sound very trustworthy at all. 

Post # 13
Member
903 posts
Busy bee

Red flag after red flag. You know the answer to this question. Your boyfriend is sneaky and dishonest and you don’t deserve that in your life unless you allow it.

You’re young. Find someone who loves and respect you as much as you do him.

Post # 14
Member
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mrcrgirl17:  to answer your question, i would say no. 

you are still young with your whole life ahead of you.  why are you wasting your time and your life on someone who clearly is being dishonest and imo betraying you.  you deserve so much more.  you should not have these feelings while in a committed relationship.  if you do, it’s not the one for you.

it’s not like you live together or anything.  take advantage of your distance and move on with your life.  a year from now you will look back and be grateful that you did.

good luck.  let me know if you need to chat.

Post # 15
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You guys are both young and he is immature and no where near ready for a committment like marriage or even a long term relationship. Leave, you won’t regret it. He is showing you absolutely zero respect. You don’t have to put up with it – there are much better men (not boys) out there. You said it yourself – you wouldn’t want your friend to be in the relationship you are in. So, get yourself out. Have the same respect and love you have for your friends for yourself.

Post # 16
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

As for the same account, maybe he’s just being kinky?

The topic ‘Can I ever trust the love of my life? Trust issues/women problems’ is closed to new replies.

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