Post # 1
My FI’s aunt is a minister and will be performing our ceremony. She has done marriage ceremonies before, and my Fiance told me that she has a standard way of performing the ceremony. We are meeting with her this weekend to discuss how the logistics and everything else will work, but I have two main concerns:
1) I don’t want the ceremony to last very long, maybe 15-20 minutes max, because most of the guests will be standing…and
2) I don’t want to have to say anything other than “I do”, because I’m pretty sure I will be too overwhelmed and nervous to say anything else.
I’m concerned that this might be different than her typical protocol. Can I just explain to her that I really want the ceremony to be this way? Does this mean I’m stepping on her toes or something? How much of a say did you have in the way your ceremony will be done?
Post # 3
I don’t think you’ll be stepping on her toes, I think there are certain declarations that you will have to make more than just “I do” (not much – maybe one or two lines but you can just have it where you repeat after her). Express how you feel and it should be fine. Even if she has a standard way of doing things, you are the bride and groom and she can accomodate your requests.
Post # 4
I am sure she wouldn’t mind if you let her know what you want, and I am also sure she would be more than happy to accommodate you with what you want. She probably has a lot of brides that request things that they want, and your requests don’t seem out of line.
Post # 5
I think your criteria should be easy to meet. I requested the same things! So, it doesn’t sound like you’re stepping on her toes to me. It can be difficult since she’s your FI’s family. If she’s rigid about the way she conducts ceremonies, you’re still basically stuck with her. But, anyone who regularly officiates ceremonies should be willing to work with the couple, especially a family member.
Post # 6
I’m sure it will be fine if you tell her those things. I don’t think it is too much to ask for either, and would be extremely surprised if she didn’t honor it.