(Closed) Can I have a father/daughter dance if he doesn’t have a mother/son dance?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Of course you can still do the father/daughter dance without the mother/son one. I have almost never seen the mother/son dance done at all, but I’ve never been to a wedding without a father/daughter one.

Post # 4
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Absolutely you can do that! No worries. As for alternatives… I got nothin’!

Post # 5
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i’m in the exact opposite , I don’t want to dance with my father , ( hes not even walking me down the isle) ..but i want the mr to dance with his mom 🙂 But i don’t know what do it , except may be dance with my mom 🙂 … As for your situation ..does he have a sister ..he can dance with her instead of the moms ??  or a niece ? Just to keep the peace between the moms , having a neutral party would be beneficial .

Post # 6
Member
374 posts
Helper bee

You dance w/your dad if you want. He doesn’t have to have a dance with his mom.  You don’t even need to do either if you don’t want.

Who makes up these rules anyway?

 

Post # 7
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with the rest of the bees.  At our wedding we just did the father/daughter dance!  I’ve only been to one wedding in which they did both, so no worries!!

Post # 8
Member
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly the mother/son dance is a new trend, so even if your looking at it the old fashioned way, typically its just been the father/daughter.

Nobody will think its weird if you don’t have a mother/son dance, in fact many people have never seen that at weddings 🙂

Post # 9
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2000

I totally agree that you should do the father/daughter dance!  (In fact, I’ve never been to a wedding with a son/mother dance, and it sounds like a new tradition, so I’m sure none of your guests will miss it.)

 

If you think to yourself that you’ll regret not dancing with your dad at your wedding, then you should absolutely do it.  It’s your day– YOU can decide. 

Post # 10
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

Like others have said, I’ve never been to a wedding where that was a mother/son dance, so I don’t think it would seem weird for you to just have a father/daughter dance. If it’s a big moment for you, do it!

Post # 11
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think it is up to you two- you can do whatever you want. Before our reception was cancelled, we weren’t doing ANY, because my dad passed away and Fiance didn’t feel comfortable dancing with his self-obsessed mom.

However, I think a mother/son dance alone is MUCH weirder than just a father/daughter dance. I don’t ever remember seeing a mother/son dance- the father/daughter always steals everyone’s attention.

Maybe Fiance & your dad can plan towards the very end of the song having him hand you off to him, like kind of like him coming in and asking if he can “cut in” towards the end… so it signals the end of the choreograhped parent dances. Cheesy but who knows it might work?

Post # 12
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Like many have already said, I think you should do what works for you!  If you want to dance with your dad, go for it!  That doesnt mean there has to be a mother/son dance (or vice versa).

I have the opposite situation.  I don’t want to have a father/daughter dance, but my bf wants the mother/son dance.  So that’s what we plan to do!  My father passed away almost five years ago, so I do not want to include a father/daughter dance at my wedding because I think it will just make me sad.  I do, however, have a fantastic stepdad, so I plan to explain this to him ahead of time as not to hurt his feelings.  I will have him walk me down the aisle, though. 

Utimately, I think you need to plan your wedding around what is important to you.  I  wouldn’t worry about what people will think….this is YOUR day!  🙂

Post # 13
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes you can just have the father/daughter dance. I think it’s lovely to have father/daughter dances, my Fiance won’t can’t have the mother/son dance because his mom passed away 🙁 

Post # 14
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Of course you can. Fiance and I own a DJ party business and we average at the min. one wedding a month. It’s pretty common for there to be only a mother/son or father/daughter. I intend fully to dance with my dad, but as my fiance doesn’t have a close relationship with his mom and she put him in numerous poor situations when he was a child and eventually gave up her parental rights to his grandmother (her mother) he doesn’t want to have a mother/son dance but is seriously considering a grandmother/grandson dance. Or to exclude that part all together from our reception. The thing about weddings is that their are no set rules for couples to follow when it comes to the reception. Pretty much any order of events or any dance goes (as long as it’s tasteful. lol).

Post # 15
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

you can def still do your father/daughter dance!!! ive been to a wedding before that had a mother/son dance but no father/daughter dance.

Post # 16
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I’m in a similar situation. I have a father and a stepfather and I’m close to both of them. My fiance’s mother isn’t alive, so there won’t be a mother/son dance.

That’s largely the reason we’re not doing a father/daughter dance.  But besides that, quite frankly, I’ve never really even wanted a father/daughter dance. So, we’re going to skip those dances altogether.

How does your fiance feel about this?  If he’s cool with it, then that’s your biggest hurdle right there.  If you’re both on the same page, then it’s perfectly appropriate that you have one dance and not the other.

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