(Closed) Can I have an Engagement Shower as opposed to a Bridal Shower?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Will the people invited to the engagement party also be invited to the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it sounds pretty nice… Some people have engagement parties as well as showers.. We didn’t have an engagement party because we knew our wedding date was going to be a while after…

But I really like your idea.. And don’t worry about the gift situation because the shower gifts are for the both of you anyway, well except for the sexy lingerie lol..

Post # 6
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You can have a couples shower if it’s common in your circle, but know that showers are gift giving events. They’re also parties that are thrown in your honor – you cannot throw your own shower. If couples showers aren’t done in your circle, then I’d advise against it. 

You can have a pre-wedding open house if you’d like. But there should be no mention or expectations of gifts, and you should host the party fully.

Post # 7
Member
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

So, you’d be having this in lieu of a bridal shower then?  I personally think “gifts optional” sounds a little icky, maybe you could say something about “your presence is our present” (or something less cheesy, haha).

I’d be a little wary of inviting people to the party and ceremony but not the reception, but you know your church best.

Post # 8
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Just have a couples shower. I wouldn’t call it an engagement shower. Just have a couples/jack-and-jill wedding shower.

ETA If you call the party “open house” that means people can come and go as they like and that gifts are not required.

Post # 11
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh wait, you really can’t invite people who aren’t invited to the reception. You need to limit your guest list to just those people.

If you can’t limit the guest list to just the people who you are inviting to the reception, then you can have an open house AFTER the wedding. It wouldn’t be related to the wedding at all. Maybe call it a housewarming. But it’s INCREDIBLY rude to invite people to showers and then not host them at the wedding & reception. Good luck to you.

Post # 12
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  Yes, do this.

“Shower” means people shower you with gifts.

And like a pp mentioned, you can’t invite people to a pre-wedding party who aren’t invited to the wedding (reception included.)

Peeps on the boards have different opinions on inviting close family to the ceremony and more to the reception (I think its fine,) but doing the opposite is a no-no. Aside from the idea that anyone in the congregation can come to a wedding ceremony in their church without being invited.

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Showers are usually limited to the bride’s (or couple’s) closest family and friends. There’s honestly no reason to invite any more than the 140 who are invited to the reception and ceremony. It’s up to your Maid/Matron of Honor how many she can host – have her send out real invitations. But you can’t announce the shower to those who aren’t invited to both the ceremony and reception, even if you say no gifts.

ETA: If you announce the shower at church, then YOU are the one inviting people. The invitation needs to come from the host(s).

Post # 15
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I wouldn’t make an open announcement about the shower. Invitations should be sent to only people invited to the entire wedding (ceremony + reception). If you want to keep it easy and informal, your Maid/Matron of Honor can send E-vites or make a closed facebook event, etc.

The topic ‘Can I have an Engagement Shower as opposed to a Bridal Shower?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors