(Closed) Can I host my own bridal shower?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

@thehoneybear: you can do whatever  YOU want.  It’s your wedding.

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why dont you just have your mom as the organizer even if you pay for the food and stuff, it just sounds better to the people coming if the shower is organized by someone other than the bride.

Post # 7
1231 posts
Bumble bee

@thehoneybear: Talk with your Maid/Matron of Honor. Honestly, people seem to expect a bridal shower. I have never seen it as a gift grab. If you want to throw it, cool beans. lol If people are SOOO offended then they won’t go. But, i’m sure people won’t really care who is throwing it.


Post # 10
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@thehoneybear: My MOHs are helping me with everything, but I am pretty much the one planning it. They will help with food and other stuff, invites, they’ll put their name on the list, they will kinda be the “organizers” but behind the scene, I’ll be in charge lol. I also don’t want anything big, just want a day for us the ladies, no men involved, a nice day to relax.

Post # 11
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Who’s going to pay for it?

Post # 13
1231 posts
Bumble bee

@thehoneybear: Tell her that you want to have a bridal shower and you were wondering if she would help you with the plans. Tell her your ideas and i’m sure she would be willing to help you. (Maybe since you told her you thought your mom was throwing it, she didn’t give it a second thought.) You’ve been friends for so long and its not like you would ask her to help and then just dump it all on her. It could be a great excuse to get together, make some favors, drink wine and have quality girl time. 🙂  For my friends bridal shower, we made cupcakes as favors for the shower. We both love to make cupcakes, so it was fun.

Post # 14
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I say, plan it all yourself, and have either Maid/Matron of Honor or mom’s name as the hostess and RSVP person, that way it doesn’t seem like you are hosting, even if you really are 🙂

My shower is at my own house because no one else wanted to do it at theirs, plus I wanted my family and friends to see our new house.

Post # 15
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@thehoneybear: It is against etiquette to host your own shower. 

There is no way to host yourself a party where guests are REQUIRED to bring a gift without it being seen by SOME people as a gift grab. You are essential asking for gifts, which will never be polite.

If you just want a luncheon, host a luncheon.  But if you want a shower, that means gifts.

I don’t think it is polite to try to deceive your guests about who the host is.  It makes it seem like you know what you are doing isn’t polite, so you are lying to get gifts. 

And since you say its not about gifts, then just have another non-shower gathering, where no one will need to bring a gift (though some may anyway), and you won’t have to have a fake host.


Post # 16
54 posts
Worker bee

Honestly, I know it is against “etiquette”, but sometimes you are just in a situation where you need to plan/pay for part of it yourself- and I say, why miss out on having a bridal shower experience just because you are nice enough to help your mom and Maid/Matron of Honor out with it?  I personally know quite a few people who either greatly assisted or basically paid for/planned their bridal showers.  They put their mom or MOH’s name on the invitations, and whoever had their name on the invitation as hostess acted as the “master of ceremonies” for the party.  As for the gift situation, I know my personal view is that if someone is close enough to you to be invited to your shower, then they most likely WANT to give you a gift, because they love you!  I say go for it, and have a great time!

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