(Closed) Can I invite girls to my bach party but not inviting them to my wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 61
210 posts
Helper bee

You said yourself on page one you can’t really invite people you’ve met ONCE to an out of town wedding. I think that’s much weirder than them coming to a not-bachelorette-bachelorette, but maybe that’s just me. 

Post # 62
210 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
oneinamillion :  yeah, that’s how I’ve read most of your posts. Not as you being rude, but just finding it really hard to decipher social situations, and in that I do really feel for you. I might be way way off, but I have an aunt who is on the autistic spectrum who feels the same and said things got so much better when she actually understood that about herself. Might be worth talking to someone about perhaps? I’m sorry if this sounds rude or judgemental. I’m genuinely trying to help you because you keep getting stuck in similar social dilemmas (I know weddings tend to bring them in more than most!) x

Post # 64
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If it’s a bach party no but if it is just hanging out with friends as an event that unrelated to your wedding then sure. It would be rude to make the night out about your wedding if they aren’t invited to your wedding. 

Post # 65
1706 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


To me, it would come accross as though someone were saying something along the lines of “Hey, I like you enough to go out and have some fun, but you aren’t important enough for any of the other events, such as the wedding itself”.

Post # 66
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
oneinamillion :  I think deep down you know this is wrong.  I understand your situation.  You don’t have a lot of close friends and you’re looking for a girls night out.  But I think you’re be a but stubborn in not seeing that having such a night out so close to your wedding makes it look like a bachelorette party even if it’s not your intention.

In my circle of friends, this wouldn’t fly.  And the reason it wouldn’t is because YOU are the one things these girls all have in common.  Having it so close to the wedding, how can it not come across as being about you?  And if you’re offering to pay, that shows you’re hosting the event.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a get together.  But do it after the wedding so that your intentions are clear.

Edit – oh, I see you’ve already invited these girls.  Well, best of luck then.  Hope there are no hurt feelings.

Post # 68
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Don’t do this!  Don’t invite them to the wedding — if they have just met you it’ll come across as super weird and clingy and they’ll just for the hills.

Go to dinner, have your girls night out.  It’s not a hens night, its just dinner with old and new friends.  Don’t pay for anyone but yourself — that is also weird and desperate.  

Post # 70
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

The reason it can be rude is if you set this dinner as a hen’s party or alluding to a girls night come hens party then you could give any hopeful person the idea they will be getting a wedding invitation because you invitied them to the Bach party.    When really you have no intention of inviting them anyway.  

If it was me and you want me to come to a Bach party I would be thinking you will be inviting me to your wedding.    Then I will be disappointed I didn’t get an invite.  There is sensitive people out there.

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