Can I invite people to my bridal shower I'm not inviting to my wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 32
Member
49 posts
Newbee

No. I’d feel offended and it’s just so tacky

Post # 33
Member
627 posts
Busy bee

PolyMermaid45 :  It’s seen as rude to do so, as the shower is an opportunity to talk about how excited everyone is for the upcoming wedding and to give gifts.

If you’d like to include people you are not inviting to the wedding in some celebratory activity, you could host a casual party in your home after the celebrations. You can invite people to “a casual celebration at your home in honor of your recent wedding.” I’d also write “no gifts” so people don’t feel obligated.

Post # 34
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

“but of course want those that I’m not inviting to come to the bridal shower to celebrate”

People aren’t invited to bridal showers to “celebrate” they are invited for the sole purpose of giving you a gift. If you want them to celebrate with you than invite them to the wedding.

Post # 35
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

No. Thats just tacky, imo.

Post # 36
Member
12128 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

A shower, by definition, is about gifts. If an invitation says “shower,” unlike a baby shower, a child’s birthday, and if you go by modern etiquette, a wedding, attendees are supposed to know to bring something. Writing “no gifts” is improper, but in this case it would make no sense because without them the event is not a shower at all. 

Anyone can throw a reception in your honor, but it should be after the wedding, not before. No gifts are expected. It’s still not appropriate to refer to presents since you, or the host is supposed to be offering hospitality, not thinking about what people might give you. 

Besides, it never works.  People are always entitled to give what they want. Then other people feel as if they did something wrong. 

Post # 38
Member
863 posts
Busy bee

PolyMermaid45 :  I’d also add that it’s poor etiquette to plan your own shower. I know that it’s becoming more of a norm in some places of the world, but it looks gift-grabby to me any time I see someone plan a shower in their own honor (besides an after-work gathering of grabbing drinks after for one’s birthday or something)

Post # 39
Member
3309 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Just no. 

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