(Closed) Can I Invite Someone to the Bridal Shower and Not Wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Can I invite someone to my bridal shower and not wedding?
    Yes you can : (2 votes)
    3 %
    No you can't : (76 votes)
    96 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If it was me I wouldn’t.  I also wouldn’t want to be friendly with my neighbors, I’m more of a private type of person.  

    Post # 4
    812 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Absolutely not.

    If they’re not close enough to invite to your wedding, you definitely don’t invite them to your shower.

    If you want to do a get together with these ladies, do just the craft party or maybe organize a block party.

    Post # 5
    2712 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Nope.  Anyone who is invited to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding (the only exceptions to this are work and church showers).  If you invite someone to the shower but not the wedding it will look gift grabby (even if you don’t intend it to).  Don’t worry, they won’t think it’s rude if you don’t invite them. =)

    Also, what is a craft shower?


    Post # 6
    4416 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If the gifts aren’t important to you, the other option is to not call it a shower at all — call it a craft party and invite whoever you want! The only problem with a shower is that it is 100% definitely a bring-a-gift event, so that’s why it’s only wedding guests that are invited.

    Post # 7
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I think I agree w. the other posters that this might end up a bit awkward. Maybe try to get to know the other neighborhood ladies in another way once you’re married.

    I was once invited to the bridal shower of an acquaintance… I worked w. her in the past and she’s a Facebook friend. I wasn’t invited to the wedding. I thought it was a little odd, but I thought it was nice of her to think to invite me. I went to the shower and had quite a good time (despite not knowing anyone but her), and didn’t resent her for not inviting me to the wedding.

    Post # 8
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I agree with @iarebridezilla if you really want to invite people who aren’t coming to the wedding you shouldn’t call it a shower. I think, since invitations saying its a shower have probably already gone out, you should schedule some other non-wedding activity to get together with the other neighbors. 

    Post # 9
    487 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We don’t have bridal showers in England, but nevertheless I personally wouldn’t invite someone to a shower but not the wedding and I would be pretty annoyed if someone invited me to the shower but not the wedding. Why? Because it looks like you just want their gifts but don’t care about them enough to want them at your wedding.

    I’m not saying that is your intention btw, just saying how it would probably look.

    Post # 12
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Even though no gifts are required, I think it’s pretty tricky to invite your neighbors to anything so explicitly wedding-focused and then not invite them to the wedding. I think you’d risk getting off on the wrong foot with at least a few of the neighbors – and the ones who would be the most upset would probably also be the ones most likely to badmouth you, etc.

    Is the wedding in your new area or back where you used to live? If you felt like you could “risk” inviting them because they’d be unlikely to come, you could go that route – but it’s also kind of disingenuous, so that’s probably not the greatest idea either.

    Post # 13
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    @Paigey:  Ditto. 

    The women who are invited to your shower should be those closest to you, it’s even more intimate than a wedding– you should definitely not be inviting casual friends that you don’t want to include in the wedding.  

    Do a seperate event with these women. 

    Post # 14
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think it’s even worse to invite people to help you do your DIY wedding projects and not invite them to the wedding.  If you invite people to a regular gift-based shower and not to the wedding, you look gift grabby which is definitely not good, but if you invite them over to help make your centerpeices and stuff, you look worse than a sweatshop-owner.  

    I think if you’re going to invite people to make crafts and they’re wedding-related you have to make it very clear what they will be making, which gives them the option of declining.  I’m not a “crafty” person so I may have the social aspect of these groups all wrong, but to me, I would be pretty upset to be invited to a craft party only to end up making something that I could not enjoy.  If I were invited to a craft party I’d expect that I could either take home some of the finished product, or that it would go to some central purpose (like decorating the apartment community rec room) or that it would be donated to some charity or worthy cause; anything else would leave me with a very sour taste in my mouth.

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