(Closed) Can i just stop trying with FMIL… vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m sorry you’re having problems with you Future Mother-In-Law. It sounds like she’s a real pain. It sounds like even her son is having a hard time getting through to her.  Did she already order the dress? If not, hopefully you can make her see sense!

Post # 4
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

hi cupcake i totally kn how u feel.i dont get along at all with my SO mother.i think she wishes i would just disapear.lol. to be honest it does bother me some of the things she says.everything thing is my fault.oh well i have gotten to the point where i dont even speak to her.she acts like her son is her huband and is entitled to have him at her beck and call.even he is tired of her antics.i think u should be civil if u have to be around her but as far as am concerned the most she’ll get out of me is a good morning and that it.

Post # 5
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

ughz.. that really sucks.  I would always remain respectful towards her, but keep my distance!  Hopefully she’ll come around

Post # 6
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Totally in the same boat as you with my Future Mother-In-Law… She told me she was going towear black to our wedding because shes in morning… Hopefully after the wedding things will calm down alittle bit but goodluck !

Post # 7
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

wwhhatt @ futuremrschaney, that is horrible!  What the hell is wrong with some FMIL’s?  That is totally unacceptable.  They should know how difficult it is to be the fiance’ and wanting to be accepted into their soon to be family.  That just pisses me off!

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Okay sounds like you two getting engaged freaked her out a little. You should stick up for yourself to a certain extent. Like don’t let her have any control over your relationship, all decisions must be made by you and Fiance and no going behind your back to change them, etc. But she is your Future Mother-In-Law, so some of it you will have to just deal with unfortunately. I tend to treat FI’s rude relatives like dogs you are training: completely ignore bad behavior and reward good behaviour like the dickens. When they make rude comments I change the subject or act like I didn’t hear, but when they are nice to me I am 10X nicer back.  

Post # 10
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s so crappy, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.  It sounds like she’s having a hard time letting her son go and she’s acting it out in an immature way.  That being said, she’s always going to be his Mother so she’ll always be around.  I do think you can stop putting forth any effort in being on friendly terms with her.  But, you have to always remain respectful.  I’d just play off of her- like if she’s being nice, you can reciprocate, but if she’s being a jerk, you’ll have to just ignore it.  Its great that you’re able to vent to your Fiance about it without him being defensive, which is often the case (believe me, I know!).  Regarding the dress specifically- I think its so horrible of her to do that, I hope she finds it in her heart to replace it.  If not though, she’s the one that will look like a jerk, so I would try to let it go.  Good luck with her!

Post # 11
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I totally agree with Jennifer I have stopped putting the effort out there and it really doesnt upset me that much anymore. Plus when she sees that you really dont care what she think she will most likely change her ways which is what im hoping will happen for both you and I in our similar situations. My Fiance has told me that he would chose me over his mother and father seeing as I have done nothing wrong to his family and I’m sure that you havent either, you should sit down with your Fiance and ask him what he thinks about the situation if she keeps doing this what will his actions bc because honestly I wouldnt want to marry someone who is going to be ruled by their mother entire lives. Hope everything works out for you in the end which I am sure it will she just needs time to process my Future Mother-In-Law has always been a rude B*tch to me so it really isnt anything new to me!

The topic ‘Can i just stop trying with FMIL… vent’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors