Post # 1
So my husband’s brother is marrying a woman 21 years older than him. Whatever, it’s different, but we met her (she moved from the US to Canada to be with him) and we liked her.
They decided to move back to the US together and get married – they will be leaving this week. In the process, BIL sold his home, quit his great job, and they moved in with MIL until they were ready to leave the city.
All of a sudden SIL becomes at TOTAL bag, acts like a b*tch to the whole family, writes MIL a 5 page nasty letter, saying things like “you’re f*cked up, you ruined BIL’s life, I never want to talk to you or see you again” etc etc. She won’t speak to her in person, and my MIL was so uncomfortable, she stayed at our house for a few nights because she didn’t feel like she could go home. My BIL also wrote her a 4 page later the next morning which wasn’t quite as harsh, but still pretty mean. MIL let me read both.
MIL was completely floored. She is one of the sweetest people I’ve known. I’ve been a part of this family for almost 7 years. Unless I’m completely nieve, I can’t figure out where these hateful words are coming from. MIL is so scared she will never see BIL again after they move to the US. She has missed meetings at work, can’t sleep and is just so upset about receiving those letters.
So, do you ladies think that SIL has brainwashed my BIL into hating his mom? He’s a completely different person when she’s around. I just can’t figure it out…
Post # 3
@Ryansgirl: I’d tell the girl to pack her shit and get the hell out of my house. How rude! Hope everything works out 🙁
Post # 4
@Ryansgirl: Whaaaaaat 😐 This is intense. Your poor MIL!
How old is your BIL? Is he young or naive enough to fall under the influence of this woman? It just seems so weird that there was a marked shift in attitude.
Post # 5
@rcac1208: ugh I know! I would have done the same, but being her sweet self, she didn’t want them to have to find somewhere else to live with only 2 weeks left. She didn’t want to push her son further away…:(
@letigre: He is turning 28 in a couple months…she is 49. Even my husband who tries not to get involved in family drama is completely floored…he can’t believe his little brother is acting this way. He’s always been a little different, but very strong in his convictions, so we can’t figure it out.
Post # 6
Yikes. that is baffling and your poor MIL.
I would keep the lines of communication open to your BIL to give him something to fall back on because his fiance sounds awful! He may not appreciate it now, but having a supportive, welcoming family will make a world of difference. I wouldn’t speak to the fiance, however.
i have no idea what is going on, there doesn’t seem like a reason for it. Im sorry for your family, I don’t even know what I would do in that situation! I feel awful for your MIL to be treated so badly, that will stay with her for a long time.
Post # 7
@Ryansgirl: I think BIL is p***y-whipped. And frankly, some male person needs to kick his ass for allowing this treatment to MIL. How mean, and disrespectful.
I agree some one needs to tell the both of them to get the hell out of my home and NEVER come back.
I am so sad for your MIL, I mean I understand that we all have in-law problems from time to time. But to be just downright hateful to an other wise sweet person seems a little bit psychotic.
Post # 9
Sounds like that bitch had you fooled, and now her true colours are showing through. I can’t blame your MIL for being so upset… yikes. I’d be telling SIL to get her ass out of my house immediately, if I were her. You don’t get to disrespect me like that while living under my roof.
Post # 10
I agree with all the other ladies here. It is well within your MIL’s right to say,’well, I’m sorry you feel that way, now get the fuck out.’ And if that doesn’t work, advise her to pack up their shit and put it on the front doorstep.
It’s fine to not get along with someone, but I believe if someone is doing you a courtesy to allow you to stay at their home you should try to be at the very least respectful.
There’s a chance if your MIL shows that she is not going to put up with that type of behavior then the BIL might reconsider his words a little bit. If not, then it’s not worth it, really.
Post # 11
@Ryansgirl: how long has your bil been with this older woman? has he known her long? has she ever shown any indication of this behaviour before? it just sounds so crazy. what did these letters say? did any of it hold any merit?
if i was your mil, i would politely ask this woman to leave my home.
Post # 12
@Ryansgirl: What in the blue foo??? Your DH should take his little brother aside and (figuratively) kick his ass. Your poor MIL.