(Closed) Can I motivate him without nagging?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When someone has gained weight, they know it. They don’t need anyone, let alone their partner, telling them so. It’s great that you’ve decided to make a change but the key to that statement is that you decided. Someone will not change unless they want to. 

You’re leading by example already and he will come to the decision on his own. Imagine how you’d feel if he commented on how heavy you look but don’t worry you’re still attractive. I would suggest going for walks or bike rides together. There’s nothing wrong with making date nights a little more active and there’s no need to comment on his weight. Just ask if he feels like joining you for a walk – it’s especially easy if you have a dog! 

Post # 18
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@chercee:  I dont know about your hubby, but mine will eat whatever we have in the house… so if i buy and cook healthy food he will eat it… and if I make sure he has healthy snacks like pre-cut veggies and cheesesticks and hard boiled eggs etc for him to snack on then he’ll eat those… So i typically cut back on snack food junk when DH’s weight creeps up… I am constantly fighting my weight so its no big deal for us…

We also signed up for a gym together… we went together like 3-4 times in the 3 months that we have had it — since the holidays it has been harder… plus i am 17 wks pregnant and did NOT feel like hitting the gym during the first trimester… but  i think we will head back in a few weeks when the resolutioner crowd clears out…

My DH can drop weight FAST when he tries… so its just a matter of getting the ball rolling… He also was taking some community college classes and ended up with  1 credit gym class that really helped motivate him… idk if that would be an option for you, but learning about working out really motived DH to improve…


Post # 19
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Honestly I think he will need to figure it out on his own…I think you have already gotten some solid ideas, but I was ableto get DH to start going to the gym with me by letting him know that I could use the extra support and motivation of having a gym buddy.

Post # 20
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@chercee:  Glad to hear the conversation went well! It’s a start! Here’s to hoping you guys have success!

Post # 21
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Maybe lead as an exmaple?  


I wasn’t motivate to lose weight until I stand closely next to my sister in law who lost all the baby fat and now weight 114lbs and she is 5’7. Also when I try to pack and clean my closet, I noticed that I don’t fit nicely in most clothes I bought in the past.  I force myself wear it and realize I don’t look as good.  So the trick is get rid of all the sketchy clothes to face reality.  Also, I noticed my Fiance lose weight as he try to eat healthy and exercise, I don’t want to look like a giant next to him one day. So I start watch out what I eat



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