(Closed) Can I not invite my FMIL to my shower? (long)

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

IMO…if you don’t invite her, that’s one more thing she can hold over you.

If you play the bigger person and do invite her, then it’s up to HER whether or not she comes. If she doesn’t come, it’s on her shoulders, not yours.

I would invite her. She will be one of 20 some people there and you won’t have to entertain her all day. It will be up to her to decide if she wants to talk to you or your family and friends.

Not inviting her could make things a lot worse as far as healing a broken relationship. Even if you do invite her, she might not come.

Post # 4
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I really think you should extend the invitation. SHE can always decline, however I feel it’s sending a bad signal if you exclude her- that could really pi$$ her off. I’m sure the two friends would talk to her if they were invited, and she could talk to someone at the wedding, find out you had a shoer, and oh boy! 

Yes, you will have to talk to her, but you don’t have to go into a long, drawn out conversation. “FMIL, I am so glad you were able to join us today.”  

I had a falling out with my SIL over children not being invited to the wedding (nephew who’s 5.) I think it would be awkward if she’s at the shower, but I’m going to suck it up and invite her. She might decline, which would be a LOT easier, but at least it can’t come back on me.

Post # 5
11 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with the above comments…inviting her leaves one less thing to be held over your head. Although I totally understand how annoying it is to even see those people at such happy events, you will be surrounded by people who love you at your shower so her negativity hopefully wont be able to get to you!

Who knows she might not accept anyway and then at least you can say you tried! Good Luck!

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