(Closed) Can I not invite my sister because of what happened?

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Jesus…. I wouldn’t want them there either. Sorry 🙁

Post # 4
7552 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Honestly it’s your sister so I think you need to just invite her. I think excluding a sibling from a wedding is a dire move and should only ever happen if you never wan them in your life again.

I understand that you are upset but you stated that she ignored your calls (plural) so maybe you really did upset her with calling her a lot. I don’t condone her husbands handling of the situation but maybe you put some stress on her at a stressful time. You never know she maybe having a complicated pregnancy and has been told to keep stress levels at a minimum which is why her husband overreacted the way he did. Maybe try seeing it from the point of view of that?

I would reach out to your sister and try talking with her.

Post # 5
3605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Come tuesday, I call her a few times….  …I offered this a million times…… So I call her up and am upset saying you could have just said no instead of ignoring my calls. This was at 10pm.

although his reaction was over the top my thoughts is you need to back off and give people space 

i would be PISSED at anyone that was calling my house at 10pm at night and multiple times during the day and im not even pregnant.  its harrassment

i wouldnt exclude your sister and her husband from an invite – you both are in the wrong but it doesnt have to be the end of the world. there is a lot of important things happening in both your lives right now so maybe some time apart would be good but dont close the door on your relationship

Post # 7
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think that you called her a bit too much. I get super annoyed when people call me a thousand times. However, I roll my eyes. I don’t cry all night. Is everything okay with her? I’d be more concerned about a more serious underlying problem.

Additionally the way that her husband acted was deplorable. I don’t care how hard and for how long I cried to my SO about one of my family members.. If he screamed in one of my sisters faces, even if he thought he was defending my honor, I would be so furious and probably do everything I could to make him apologize, in a groveling fashion, in person.

Post # 9
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, I have a lot of problems with your Brother-In-Law telling you that you can’t talk to your own sister.  How old is this guy?  Why are they so stressed about the baby?  Was this not planned?  IDK, but most people are thrilled with a pregnancy and generally happy during the entire process…it seems like something more is going on with them?  

Post # 10
1608 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I believe that in the end, no matter what the situation or who was in the wrong, she is your sister and you could completely regret not having her at your wedding if you don’t invite her. I’m sure this will eventually work itself out, but not inviting her to the wedding could potentially create some much larger long term problems between the two of you. 

Post # 11
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Terrible.. i don’t think you called too many times. But as you don’t know the entire story maybe it WAS too much for your sister, in whatever situation she was at the moment. Talk to her. I would. Apologise to HER if it was too much BUT your Brother-In-Law is completely WRONG!!!!! No way to talk to a SIL like that!!! And no proper apology? But as i have a big family i also know many times we have to swallow our pride and get it over with..not easy, but it’s family.

I would send them the invitation, yes. But i would talk to my sister. Alone.

Post # 12
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

oh dear..your sister is pregnant and probably an emotional and mental mess…and she’s probably driven her husband to insanity.

I’d try and remember that your sister is in there somewhere still. Don’t change a thing…just let them come around when its time. I do know how you feel. Not long ago I got reamed out by my sister, and I’m not used to being talked to like that…just yelled at and I felt like the scapegoat…and it was aweful. So yes, I know how upsetting this must have been, and really hard to forget.

But you should probably lay off your sister, she clearly can’t handle pressure of anykind.

Post # 13
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would give her a courtesy invite and make it clear that she is not expected to attend. 

The Brother-In-Law… I would sign him up for some anger management course.

Post # 14
4996 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Absolutely invite them. It’s your sister. Hopefully this will all blow over, but not inviting them could end your relationship with them. 

Post # 15
1525 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@GreenDream:  Yeah… this is what I was thinking.

Post # 16
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am interested in why you wanted to be there when your sister told your parents she was expecting. I think this may be more of the issue than the # of calls. This would really irritate me as I would want to have this time with just my parents and my spouse.

Send her an invite and realize that both of you share some of the blame for the discord.

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