Post # 1
A few months ago, my friend asked me to be maid of honor in her wedding.
Just last week, I got engaged.
My friend’s wedding isn’t for another 13 months, but my Fi and I want to get married in 5 months.
What is the best way to let my friend know? I want her to be one of my bridesmaids, and since our friend group is so close we’ll have mostly the same bridesmaids.
I already know mine will be a simple wedding, so the cost won’t be a major burden on our “shared” bridesmaids (not that I’m sacrificing my vision, but we want a very simple yet festive wedding).
We really don’t want or need to wait 2 years to get married just because she got engaged before us and set her date out so far.
Post # 2
Just set your date and ask her to be a bridesmaid. This won’t be a problem unless she makes it a problem.
Post # 3
I don’t think you need to do anything special to “break the news”. Do exactly what you would do if she hadn’t gotten engaged.
For what it’s worth, I got engaged before my friend. She got married Sept 2017 and I’m getting married in a week and a half, 10.5 months later. I really didn’t care and was thrilled to be in her wedding.
Post # 4
A good friend would be happy for you as you were for her. It’s not like you’re planning your wedding on the same day. Don’t overthink it.
Post # 5
I think it’s fine set your date but she may choose not to participate if all her extra money is going to her own wedding.
Post # 6
Absolutely fine. In fact, I kind of did this. We got engaged 3 months before we made it official and told everyone. Venue was booked etc. 2 weeks after we got engaged a really good friend told us she was engaged too. They booked their venue for next May (18 months out). The only awkward thing is their capacity is super small and they may not invite friends at all but obviously I was her at ours! I hope she doesn’t feel she has to return the invite.
Post # 7
I don’t see how this would be an issue. I’d just tell her normally in the same way I’d tell my other friends.
Post # 8
You can plan your wedding any time you like, how you like – unless you’re intending to get married within a week or on the same day, your friend’s life choices and wedding date should have absolutely no bearing on that.
Tell her about your wedding and ask her to be bm the same as you’d talk to anyone else. Just be prepared for her to be a bit less involved if she decides she’s got too much else going on!
Post # 9
This doesn’t seem like an issue at all. It could maybe look like a selfish move to plan it the day before hers, but I don’t see how several months is a problem at all.
Post # 10
I don’t see this being a problem at all! Me and one of my best friends got engaged a few weeks apart and she is getting married 6 weeks after me. We are both bridesmaids for each other. No drama so far! I booked my date first, she checked what the date was before she booked hers and honestly, it is so exciting planning stuff and having each other to talk to about it.
Post # 11
I don’t see how your wedding really has anything to do with hers. It doesn’t matter who got engaged first. You each have different plans and timelines. I would hope that she would be happy for you and not make this about her/her wedding.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space
Your weddings won’t even be close to each other so I don’t see an issue. I have a friend who got engaged well after me and had their wedding 3 weeks before mine and it was all good.
Post # 13
one of my bridesmaids got engaged after me, and set her wedding two weeks before hand (and i was a bridesmaid in it). IT WAS FINE. in fact it was fun! And it was great to have her wedding first as it felt like a dress rehearsal – i got to take note of things that went wrong and anticipate them for us two weeks later. Point being, if she’s a good friend, she’ll be happy for you.
Post # 14
You just do it! Especially since her wedding is so far away and you want to get married in a few moneths.
I had three friends get engaged after me, and two of their weddings are right before my wedding, 5 weeks before and 2 weeks before, and one is 2 weeks after my wedding. While it’s not ideal to have all of their showers and bachelorettes going on while mine are, and this fall every weekend is booked with something wedding-related for one of the four of us, that’s how it goes and it doesn’t upset me in the least! I can’t see a reasonable situation in which your friend could be upset.
Post # 15
The only thing I would worry about is her not being able to participate in yours due to saving for hers.