(Closed) Can I plan my wedding before my friend’s?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Just set your date and ask her to be a bridesmaid. This won’t be a problem unless she makes it a problem.

Post # 3
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you need to do anything special to “break the news”. Do exactly what you would do if she hadn’t gotten engaged.

For what it’s worth, I got engaged before my friend. She got married Sept 2017 and I’m getting married in a week and a half, 10.5 months later. I really didn’t care and was thrilled to be in her wedding.

Post # 4
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

A good friend would be happy for you as you were for her. It’s not like you’re planning your wedding on the same day. Don’t overthink it.

Post # 5
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I think it’s fine set your date but she may choose not to participate if all her extra money is going to her own wedding.

Post # 6
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Absolutely fine. In fact, I kind of did this. We got engaged 3 months before we made it official and told everyone. Venue was booked etc. 2 weeks after we got engaged a really good friend told us she was engaged too. They booked their venue for next May (18 months out). The only awkward thing is their capacity is super small and they may not invite friends at all but obviously I was her at ours! I hope she doesn’t feel she has to return the invite.

Post # 7
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t see how this would be an issue. I’d just tell her normally in the same way I’d tell my other friends.

Post # 8
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

You can plan your wedding any time you like, how you like – unless you’re intending to get married within a week or on the same day, your friend’s life choices and wedding date should have absolutely no bearing on that.

Tell her about your wedding and ask her to be bm the same as you’d talk to anyone else.  Just be prepared for her to be a bit less involved if she decides she’s got too much else going on!

Post # 9
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

This doesn’t seem like an issue at all.  It could maybe look like a selfish move to plan it the day before hers, but I don’t see how several months is a problem at all. 

Post # 10
Member
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
saarnlo :  I don’t see this being a problem at all! Me and one of my best friends got engaged a few weeks apart and she is getting married 6 weeks after me. We are both bridesmaids for each other. No drama so far! I booked my date first, she checked what the date was before she booked hers and honestly, it is so exciting planning stuff and having each other to talk to about it. 

Post # 11
Member
825 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t see how your wedding really has anything to do with hers. It doesn’t matter who got engaged first. You each have different plans and timelines. I would hope that she would be happy for you and not make this about her/her wedding.

Post # 12
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space

Your weddings won’t even be close to each other so I don’t see an issue. I have a friend who got engaged well after me and had their wedding 3 weeks before mine and it was all good.

Post # 13
Member
3187 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
saarnlo :  one of my bridesmaids got engaged after me, and set her wedding two weeks before hand (and i was a bridesmaid in it). IT WAS FINE. in fact it was fun! And it was great to have her wedding first as it felt like a dress rehearsal – i got to take note of things that went wrong and anticipate them for us two weeks later. Point being, if she’s a good friend, she’ll be happy for you. 

Post # 14
Member
832 posts
Busy bee

You just do it! Especially since her wedding is so far away and you want to get married in a few moneths.

I had three friends get engaged after me, and two of their weddings are right before my wedding, 5 weeks before and 2 weeks before, and one is 2 weeks after my wedding. While it’s not ideal to have all of their showers and bachelorettes going on while mine are, and this fall every weekend is booked with something wedding-related for one of the four of us, that’s how it goes and it doesn’t upset me in the least! I can’t see a reasonable situation in which your friend could be upset. 

Post # 15
Member
5986 posts
Bee Keeper

The only thing I would worry about is her not being able to participate in yours due to saving for hers.

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