(Closed) Can I say no to being her bridesmaid?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you don’t feel comfortable or close to her, decline. It’s better than being unhappy and tension from being in a wedding you don’t want to be. 

Post # 4
327 posts
Helper bee

You can absolutely say no.  It seems like that’s what’s best for you.

Post # 5
5592 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not being paired with my actual partner wouldn’t be a deterrent to me, but I’d probably decline just based on the fact that it’s a huge expense to be a bridesmaid and I wouldn’t do it for anyone but one of my very best friends/close relatives.

Post # 6
45 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Being a bridesmaid takes a lot of time, effort, and money, so if deep down you truly don’t want to be in it, I would politely decline the offer. It kind of sounds like drama, too, so it sounds to me like it’d be best for you to say no.

Post # 7
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@SapphireSun:  Agreed.

Not being paired with my Fiance or the idea that some other broad will be jealous of me being paired with her bf wouldnt bother me IF the bride to be was someone I was close too. If you arent comfortable then dont do it and if you arent comfortable, chances are she will know why and probably understand.

Post # 8
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

1) Talk it over with your BF and make sure he understands your reservations

2) It’s absolutely 100% OK to say no, just don’t waffle on it (“Yeah, I don’t know, I can only say maybe to you right now”) and be gracious about it.

Being “paired” with someone else for a 30 minute ceremony won’t be that big a deal.

Post # 9
38 posts
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it’s fine to say no to her. Give her a polite excuse like you will be too busy, saving money, etc. but you will happily attend her wedding on the day of.

Like Anise said, also be sure to talk with your BF and have him understand as well.

Post # 10
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Being a bridemaids takes alot of time and money.   I wouldn’t do it unless I was 100% sure I wanted to.  Just tell the bride…I’m sure she will understand. 🙂

Post # 11
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

You can say no, especially if you two aren’t close…I don’t get why she asked you to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man…

Post # 13
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@white_witch1457:  No, not your problem! She is probably trying to make you feel guilty! Just tell her to think it over a bit more before making a rash decision and cancelling the whole wedding party!

Post # 14
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@white_witch1457:  i would say no. why waste the money your not close to her i hope shes not just trying to fill in her bridal party i know it sounds mean to say but it happens.

P.S. my cousin who i am close with asked me to be a bridesmaid and i declined

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