Post # 1
Hey all! I’m concerned that this post will make me look like a terrible person, but this has really been bothering me…… so please be gentle!
I have a wonderful 2 year old nephew who will be our ringbearer in the wedding. He is very active though, and needs to be constantly moving. I love him very much and feel very blessed to have him in my life and as part of our special day. However……
He is very close with his grandparents (my parents) and they probably see him about 3-4 days a week. Whenever he comes somewhere that they are, they take over watching him and his parents don’t take any responsibility for him. Recently I was discussing seating for the wedding with my parents, and they mentioned that they feel that sitting with him would make the wedding difficult to enjoy because they’ll have to be watching him and not paying attention. Basically when he is around it’s impossible to even hold a conversation with either of them. But then they said that they SHOULD sit with him, because after all someone has to watch him at the wedding.
His mother is in the wedding party, but his father is not. We had planned to seat him at the same table as the flower girl, but not with my parents. Now I am a bit torn on what to do. I would hate to go against their wishes, however I would be really offended if they missed out on the speeches etc because they were too busy chasing him around to pay attention. I really feel that his father, and not his grandparents is the one who should be responsible for taking care of them. While he is wonderful and adorable, they do see him all the time so I think that not playing with him for a few hours on the day of the wedding is no big deal.
The reason this is bothering me so much now is because I was recently at a wedding where the parents of the bride were very distracted by their grandchild. One missed the ceremony because she took the baby out, they had the baby in the receiving line, and refused to get up and make a toast because they had the baby at the moment.
So should I seat them seperately and explain my concerns, or put them together? Is there a way to politely request that my nephew be his dad’s responsibility during the ceremony and speeches after dinner? Thanks!
Post # 3
I would probably seat them seperately. I know that probably will have some issues associated with it, but it’s definitely not fair for your parents to miss important parts of your wedding to babysit. The father should be responsible and watch his child and not leave it to someone else to do. Normally seating them together wouldn’t be a big deal, but if the dad has a history of leaving the grandparents to take care of him then I think it might be for the best to have them seperated so that he has no choice but to watch him. If theres anyway to politely ask that he watch them then that could work too, I just could see him not taking it very well. I’m sorry you’re stuck in this situation though and hopefully your parents can relax and enjoy your wedding with you 🙂
Post # 4
As he is so young (and a handful it sounds like!), would it be possible for a family member (not one of your family members – someone not invited to the wedding) to come pick him up after the ceremony or after dinner at the reception and take him home? Honestly it sounds like a really long day for a 2 year old. If there are a lot of kids at your wedding, that wouldn’t work, but if he’s the only really young kid, that might be something to consider.
Post # 5
Seat him with the flower girl and let them play together! If you want to talk to someone about it, talk to his PARENTS, it’s their responsibility, not your parents, and let the mother who is in the wedding know that it’s really important to you that your parents get to fully participate in the wedding and that her husband needs to mind the child. It’s called parenting.
Also, I agree with EvaBostonTerrier – they should ask someone to take him home after dinner. My sister-in-laws parents and coming to our wedding and will be leaving after dinner with my 3 year old niece/flower girl.
Post # 6
If the child must be at the reception, then I think his parents need to be responsible for looking after him. I’m not sure why your parents think it’s their job when his own parents will be there, but just let them know you want them to be able to relax and not miss anything. I do agree with others though that a babysitter might be a better option, again, something for his parents to do.