(Closed) Can I skip her reception?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I say, you should not feel bad at all!  She called to find out your date and still scheduled it around the same time.  She may not even be expecting you to make it out.  Since she already had the baby, her reception may be really small and informal.  Did she send you an invitation and just mention it in conversation?  How close are you two?  If you are really close, you need to be there.  If not, I think a nice gift will suffice.

I am taking 5 days before my wedding off…that way, no post plane bloating, pimples, last minute stress (I am getting married in a different state than I live).  I definitely would not fly across the country and then fly home the week before my own wedding…what about all the last minute stuff you will need to take care of?

If she’s already married, why would she schedule her reception the week before yours?  Do you have many friends in common?  That is so crapy…Hope it works out.

Post # 4
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think you have to go.  It makes complete sense that you don’t want to fly halfway across the country a week before your wedding!  

Post # 5
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

No, you souldn’t go. and you shouldn’t feel guilty.  you told her the date of your wedding before she set the reception date.  The week before your wedding is goign to be INSANE. Just tell her how much you wish you could make it but you cant get away that close to your wedding.  and then since she and husband and baby are coming to your wedding,  if time allows maybe make a little "you" time for them.

Post # 6
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Don’t feel like you need to go. She knows her reception is a week before your wedding and I would be shocked if she is expecting you to be there.

I would call her and have a chat about it though. Tell her you really wish you could be there but that it’s just not going to work out because you have this and that going on that weekend. Send a nice gift with a note. Also, make a point of talking to her, her husband and the baby at your reception and thank them for coming. Also, maybe it would be nice to give her a call a day or two after her reception to find out how things went.

Post # 7
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s totally reasonable to politely decline the invitation.  There is so much to worry about for your own the wedding coming up, it’s just too much to fly out of town to attend a wedding reception the week before!

Post # 8
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would hope she’d understand if you couldn’t come. You’ve been planning for a year! Maybe you could let her know you feel horrible, but can’t attend because you’re wedding a week later, and you don’t have time, but when/if she’s out here, you’d love to take her out to celebrate her wedding and baby!

Post # 9
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

Don’t go! and like many others said, don’t feel guilty.

You will only be hurting yourself, stress, sleep, nerves, etc. Unless you’re super organized there will be a million little details the days before your wedding. She should know this and you can totally decline.

If she doesn’t understand is her problem. She knew your wedding date. 

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would be super surprised  if someone getting married a week after me travelled a long distance to come to my wedding.  Even if you didn’t have to travel, everyone would understand if you didn’t go. 

You should not feel guilty in the least about not going to her reception.

Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Not only should you not go and not feel guilty, just remember how you’re secretly hoping for a certain number of "nos" so you fit into your reception or can save $$ on dinner.  Yes, you’re sad that not everyone can come, but there’s a silver lining!

Post # 12
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

Skip it and don’t feel bad.  You can’t clone yourself and (this is just a guess) you’ll be a TAD busy the week before your wedding.  No guilt.  You’ll be thanking the hive when it’s the week before and you are running around like a mad woman with a veil.

Post # 13
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

You are sooo sorry you can’t make it but you’ve got family and friends in town for your wedding.  And then you laugh and say how great that you two are celebrating so close in dates… and then start asking her about her hair etc!!

Do not feel guilty– you have been planning your wedding for a while now.. she has chosen another path to just throw a casual party. You can share pictures when its all said and done!

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