(Closed) Can I skip on inviting my cousin and his rude wife?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I remove my cousin and his wife from my guest list?
    Yes : (56 votes)
    79 %
    No : (15 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    double post! oops!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would invite them. Break the cycle of retaliation (ie not inviting someone because they didn’t invite them to something because of another event they weren’t invited to). It’s only two people and you don’t even have to pay attention to them on the day and not inviting them will just give them more ammo to be even more assholes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1459 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @olleyson86:  So, I’m pretty sure etiquitte says that you need to invite people in groups (all the cousins or none). But, I am in the camp that says you should invite whoever you want to your wedding. If you’re not really interested in having a relationship with these people, why have them at your wedding? On the other hand, if you are interesting in patching things up, it’d probably be best to invite them. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You could be the bigger person. If it were me I’d be petty though, as much as I’d like to say otherwise. You hurt my mom’s feelings and it’s SO on. I’d not invite them and make sure they knew how awesome of a time my mom and brother had πŸ™‚

     

     

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think you have to invite them because you invited your other cousins. As for their actions – they’ve been childish and disrespectful, don’t sink to the same level by excluding them. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m a firm believer that it’s your wedding and you should only invite who you WANT there not people that that you feel you should invite BUT know that if you don’t invite them you’re only perpetuating the ugliness that is already going around and shouldn’t expect anything more from them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3825 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m also having a smallish wedding (70 ppl) and I’m being “gently forced” by my SO to invite my estranged father (my step-dad who I ADORE will be giving me away). The reason? Because it’s worth it to be the bigger person. It may actually cause a change in attitude in them or perhaps they will choose not to come. It is just an invitation afterall. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    4659 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Whatever, at some point I think you have to say screw the rules, it’s my wedding and these people piss me off so I don’t want to see them. Especially if it’ll be on the smaller side. If they’re so annoying and rude, don’t think of it as retaliation, just think of it as having the wedding you want. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    NO way … I have cousins like this and I invited them ….. they didn’t come .. i knew they wouldn’t.  I’m not sure how they are related to you, your mom or dad’s sibling … but make YOUR parents proud that you can be the bigger person…. you can always sit them by the exit door … alone … πŸ˜€

    Post # 12
    Member
    3772 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @HisIrishPrincess:  haha YES! get your revenge in the seating chart! That way it’s not obvious! We kinda did this at my wedding and we only had about 50 pple show up. We sat my Uncle and his wife (the reason for the most drama in my family) next to our dear old Great Aunt and Uncle where they had to sit and listen to their stories all night instead of at the cool table with all of his other siblings. We had to choose someone to not be there… so we made it them since we didn’t like them! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2135 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Personally, I wouldn’t. They sound like rude people and I wouldn’t want them there, no matter what etiquette says.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Since they didn’t do anything specifically against you, they will see your decision to exclude them as the first strike between you and them. I would avoid opening that can of worms by just inviting them but sticking them in the back as far away from you as possible. That way you won’t have to deal with their rudeness on your special day. 

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