(Closed) Can I skip out on the bridal shower?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: which events are necessary to go to?

    bridal shower


    bachelorette party

    (already purchased tickets) quiet weekend in miami

  • Post # 3
    2997 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    unfortunately you will still probably have to chip in for the shower.  Being a bridesmaid is so expensive!

    Post # 4
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Even if you skip the shower (which I wouldn’t have a problem with, if I was the bride) are they still excepting you to chip in $350 for “your part”?

    Post # 5
    1651 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Definitely! It’s too much money! She’s having a total of 3 events aside from her wedding?! That’s excessive. Skip the shower and bachelorette.

    Post # 6
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Um…I would not be TOLD that my share of the shower is $350. That’s a thing that you discuss together before plans are made.

    Post # 7
    3679 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    $350 per bridesmaid? Or $350 total? $50 a bridesmaid isn’t too bad, but it’s pretty crappy that she would plan something without getting input from any of you (not to mention tacky that she’s planning her own shower). I would tell her that you’re tight on money and ask if you could plan something a little less extravagant.

    Post # 8
    8679 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @1stRosie:  you absolutely do NOT have to pay for

    the shower. My bridesmaids arent paying for

    mine bc they dont all have it so I didnt think it was fair that 2 out of 6 were offering to split it. I have no anger or resentment towards them

    for that. You are planning your own wedding so they must understand.


    I am confused about the bachelorette….u said u booked Miami then u later mention Boston? Which is it? Are there TWO?! 

    I am sorry but I firmly believe all a bridesmaid has to do is get an agreed upon dress and show up on my wedding day! I think you should speak to the bride and other bridesmaids now before they get upset or have unreasonable expectations.

    Post # 9
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @1stRosie:  her bridal shower is over $2,000? That’s a crazy amount. I think you have spent enough money on the wedding, but did you know you would be spending a lot when she asked you? Its kinda to late to say no now for the wedding, but voice your concerns to the bride about the shower. Why weren’t plans discussed with you??

    Post # 11
    1180 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Just let them know you can’t do it. That’s way too much.

    Post # 12
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    How is a bridal shower costing you 350 EACH? I am honestly just curious- that seems rediculous!!


    Post # 13
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Uh, I would write back the Maid/Matron of Honor and say that “share” is over your budget.  Seriously, I cannot believe some brides expect others to spend that kind of money on a SHOWER, in addition to all the other obligations, gifts, etc.!!!! (Ok, end rant.)  But I would seriously write her back and say you will not be contributing that much and maybe it’s a good idea for all the bridesmaids to get together (or talk over email) about planning the shower together within everyone’s means.  You can seriously plan a beautiful shower without breaking the bank.

    Edit: In my opinion, unless you have another obligation, as a bridesmaid you should not miss the shower.  Totally understandable if you honestly can’t make it though.  But you should definitely scale back the price of it! 😉

    Post # 14
    3679 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @1stRosie:  Holy shit, that’s insane. What’s she doing for her shower, hosting it at the Ritz? Giving out gold bars as party favors? I’d be surprised if either of my showers ended up costing over $200 total.

    This bride definitely needs a reality check.

    Post # 15
    123 posts
    Blushing bee

    What in the world is going on at the shower that SEVEN people need to pay $350 each????  I would tell them no as nicely as possible.  Why wasn’t this a collective opinion among the bridesmaids??  Maybe you could sit down with the bride and ask her if she’s realized how much everything is adding up to? 

    Post # 16
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @1stRosie:  I think its fair to skip any event you have to travel for outside of the wedding.  One of the bridemaids in my friend’s wedding lived on the other side of the country.  She came for the wedding and that was it.  Nothing else.  I would chip in for the shower though.  Although that seems pricy for a shower.  Most showers around here are in halls with food provided by the guests (egg sandwiches and the like).

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