(Closed) Can I Skip the Ceremony?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I skip the ceremony and just go to the reception?

    Yep

    Nope

    I am a special snowflake and I will explain my unique answer in my post!

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Agreed with bearcub. I would be really upset and hurt if somebody intentionally skipped my ceremony, then just showed up for the food and drinks. And I think family will talk just as much, if not more, if they see you slipping in post-ceremony.

    That being said, if you maybe explain to your cousin that you can’t get off of work in time but will get there as soon as you can, even if it’s mid-reception, and that you’re really sorry – that would probably be ok. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted yes.  Skip the ceremony.  Don’t people view the entire ceremony and reception as a celebration of the couple’s marriage?  If the entire day wasn’t considered important there wouldn’t be so much condemnation of brides who only invite people to the ceremony or don’t have one.  So as long as you showed up at some point to wish them well, I think you should be okay.

    Also, in today’s economy, I realize that many people have ceremonies during the weekday to cut costs, but they shouldn’t expect you to leave work early to attend their celebration.  If it were that important to them that every single person be there for the entire thing, they should have held the wedding on a day when it is more likely everyone could attend (like a Saturday or Sunday) since not as many people traditionally work those days

    I don’t know what your work situation is like, but personally I wouldn’t jeopardize my job by taking more time off than is absolutely necessary.  And if going to the ceremony has the potential to place you in an untenable situation (like they were deciding who to lay off at work and picked the people who take the most time off

    As long as you are there at some point, you are still showing your support.  However, you should let the bride and groom know that you will be unable to make the ceremony.  This way they might be able to remove chairs, etc, so it doesn’t look like a lot of people are missing.

    Post # 20
    Member
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    We’re only having about 15 people, including us, at the ceremony.  I would definitely be upset if one of the guests didn’t show, and just turned up at the reception.  Then again, they are all Out of Town, so I don’t see that happening.

    Post # 21
    Member
    10 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I always try to think.. what would I think if it were my wedding. This is the best way to decide on these type of things..  I would be very offended if a guest showed up to my reception without attending the ceremony (unless there was an emergency) but I am from the South and that is how things are done..

    Post # 22
    Member
    4479 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    Honestly? I’d skip the whole thing. Let family talk.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think that as I bride, I would be more happy to celebrate with people at all on my day. Even if they only come to the reception, at least I would get to see the person on one of the biggest days of my life.

    Post # 24
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I think this is fine. Like others have said, I would be glad to see my loved ones on my wedding day. If they can only make it to the reception, that’s fine. My aunt and uncle are vegans and they already told me they’re staying for the ceremony, not the reception due to their dietary restrictions, so it can work either way.

    Post # 25
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    I like what lemondrop and marigold said.  Personally, I had some people not go to my ceremony.  I had a long catholic mass, and there wwas3 hour gap between ceremony and reception.  I get that.  I couldn’t help the schedule, but I get it. 

    And yes, if it’s that important to her (and perhaps it is not) then she really should have scheduled it at a more convenient time.  I’m sorry, but being invited to a wedding doesn’t mean you are required to inconvience yourself because a gal you don’t really know too well is having "her day".  It’s enough that you’re going to the reception.  I guess I feel if a bride is going to put her ceremony where most people would have to take off from work early to attend, she waives her right to be irate if people only make it to the reception.

     

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