(Closed) Can I tell you how much I dislike texting?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You are not crossing a line. He is being unreasonable. If he’s not showing you the texts, he probably has something to hide. It is NOT “innocent” if she has feelings and hopes for him. And he’d better tell her he’s engaged–to you! Something is up here, methinks.

Post # 4
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t have much to say except that I wouldn’t be plenty pissed if my Fiance was doing that. The fact that he won’t tell her that he is engaged is a huge red flag to me.

Others on the bee might disagree with me, but I do not think you are out of line at all…. I would be furious if I was in your shoes.

Post # 5
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. He’s texting a girl (often!) who very clearly has feelings for him and is hiding the texts from you. I would sit him down and let him know (again) that this is upsetting to you. I’m not seeing why he must continue texting this girl, especially now that he has a Fiance who is uncomfortable with it.

Post # 6
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have to agree with the other bees too. He is hiding something or else he would’ve stopped texting & talking with her since he knows that it upsets you or at least would have told the woman you two are engaged. Seems fishy and breeds an atmosphere of distrust.

Sorry you are dealing with this, but better to deal with it now & nip it in the bud or deal with it later when you are married.

Post # 8
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Here’s the deal – he might not be “hiding” anything . . . more than likely he’s just pissed because you are now telling him who he can be friends with.  (Irrational = yes, but this idea was probably planted in his head by her and he will stubbornly cling to it because guys are like that.)  Don’t force him to do anything other than stop texting her altogether —- tell him that you are upset and uncomfortable with his newly found behavior and need him to reassure you and give up this girl. 

Word of advice, if he tells her that he’s engaged, it’s not going to stop them texting.  And it’s only going to piss you off more when he doesn’t stop.  In fact, the girl will probably try harder – text more often – blame you for telling him what do to – and [start sarcasm] “omg how awful will that be when he actually has to marry you ….. with all of your rules and stuff” [end sarcasm]. 

(This is from experience.)

Post # 9
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would be furious too. He’s lying to you in order to carry on a ‘texting’ friendship with her… Why does he think that’s ok? 

I find that putting FH in my shoes works when I’m having an issue with him and he doesn’t get it. There was this guy I used to be friendly with but FH thought he wanted more. Out of respect for our relationship, I stopped talking to him. Simple. Then there was this girl he used to be friends with, and it made me uncomfortable because I could tell she was into him. I said, “Remember how you felt when I was friends with X? Well that’s how I feel about her.” Putting it into perspective really allowed him to understand, and we never really talked about her again– I just noticed that he didn’t talked to her anymore after that. Maybe something like that could work for you? But I think at this point, if something simple like that was going to make him stop, it would have already.

Keep in mind when he gets back, the texts may already be deleted, since he’ll be gone a couple of days. But no, I don’t think you’re crossing the line. The texting should stop, one way or another.

Post # 10
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont understand why its so hard for him and taking so long for him to tell her he’s engaged?Weird….

I dont think it’s crossing the line considerig he’s making it kinda of hard for you to trust him.

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