(Closed) Can I throw my own baby shower?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honestly, I would leave it as is. If she asks for your input, you could tell her your reservations about it, but I don’t think anyone’s entitled to a shower, and, if she’s the only one offering to host it, she gets to call the shots. Sorry.

That said, the one thing I think you could mention is that guests will have to travel far. Do you know of a clubhouse that is more convenient for guests that you could possibly suggest? If she declines your idea, I think you just have to suck it up or go without a shower.

Post # 4
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know people have done it but I’m not a fan. It’s considered rude to throw your own bridal shower so I think it’s kind of rude to throw your own baby shower. Why don’t you suggest an alternative venue to your step mother? Explain to her that the restaurant isn’t really event appropriate and provide her with a short list of places that are. I see no problem with being involved but hosting it yourself will come off as a gift grab (which showers are regardless, but still).

Post # 6
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Before I read the other responses I was going to say to definately through your own as I don’t think it would be rude at all, but I come from another country, and am unfamilier with American etiquette.

If it is considered rude to through your own, let your stepmum through it but suggest somewhere closer and offer to help, so u dont seem ungreatfull.

Post # 7
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You shouldn’t throw your own shower, and I would just go with what your stepmom plans. It’s really nice of her to do it, and there is no way you can suggest another plan without being ungrateful. You may have a picture of your ideal shower in your head, but it is her party to throw for you – and any shower is better than no shower. Couldn’t the restaurant put together a large table for your party, like any other large group? 

Post # 8
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

im sorry but ummmm… i have to disagree with the other bees… im ALL for throwing your own baby shower. what is so rude about having things done the way you want them? ::shrugs:: if u have a vision in your head then u should be the 1 to make it happen… maybe im biased because im throwing my own as well =) i love and appreciate my BFF for offering but i know that her financial situation is tight and her condo just wont be able 2 accomodate our friends and family… throw your own!

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

All I’m going to say is that I don’t think you should do something you’re not interested in.  There’s no way a friend or other family member that could throw a shower at their house, but you help with food, drinks, etc?

Post # 10
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honestly, I’ve never been to a baby shower, or been invited to one, where the pregnant woman didn’t send the invites herself so it stands to reason that she probably planned most of the thing. 

Post # 11
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

suggest something else, offer to use YOUR house but dont have it thrown by yourself! 

Post # 12
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would keep your stepmom involved to keep up the appearance of her throwing the shower because people can get so petty about brides/mothers throwing their own (which I don’t understand b/c, like PP, mentioned it is a gift grab either way). I would offer to help her financially and take on a lot of the responsibilities, that way you can have a bigger say without seeming rude/ungrateful. I would still list her as who is throwing the shower on the invites. Best of both worlds. 

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@futuremrsoloyede: Um, becuase you’re asking people to shower you with gifts? I have no issue with the mom-to-be being involved but I’ve been invited to showers where the guest of honor was also the host and sadly, the fact that she threw the soire herself was more the topic of conversation than the baby she was brewing. 

Post # 14
Member
747 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

futuremrsoloyede i agree with you 100%….these days you can throw your own shower and stuff…evrything you said makes sense, also having it kinda like a party, or a club whatever the bigger the better becasue you get more gifts..no one cares who throws it, they just want to go and dance, eat and that’s really what people care about these days…

Post # 15
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Romantigua:  Ok. Couple things…

1. No baby shower I have ever attended involved dancing.

2. Having it be “bigger” just to get more gifts is pretty terrible.

3. People most certainly do care who throws it, especially when they know that the host is also the mom or bride to be. Maybe this flies in certain circles but it doesn’t in mine.

Post # 16
Member
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I like the idea of suggesting an alternate venue that’s a little closer for everyone. Or even offering up your home if you’re up to it.

I guess ultimately my question is why you want the shower? For the gifts or more for the celebration? If its more for the celebration you can always host a Sip N See after the baby arrives. Those are totally appropriate to be thrown by yourself! Or you can always host a casual get together and not call it a Baby Shower?

The other thing is maybe your friends and family are not planners and think they still have plenty of time? Which they do.

What does your husband think? Does he think maybe anyone on his side might want to host? Siblings, aunts?

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