Post # 1
Hi again, some of you may remember my last post about my father:
Well, I am only having one wedding. I still haven’t sent out the invites (in fact we postponed it because of the drama around my bio-dad) and I’m still on the fence about whether to just hold my breath and invite him, or not invite him and risk WWIII his side of the family.
The latest development, though, is that he FINALLY returned one of my phone calls (he claims he never gets my emails, phone messages, etc even though I leave them on his work line and there’s no way you could run a business if you really didn’t get your messages) . He said he heard I was engaged, so he’d gone out and gotten ordained (through one of those internet minister things) so he could perform our ceremony.
Why would he do that without asking me? He’s also a compulsive liar so I don’t know if it’s real or not. But I was stunned. This is a man who doesn’t even tell me when he’s visiting my city for a week. Obviously he doesn’t feel too close to me. So why would he do that? And am I under any obligation to accept?
Post # 3
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
No! you are under absolutely no obligation to have him officiate!! Don’t feel pressured. It was rude of him to assume, if he actually did get ordained.
Post # 4
No, you are not. I would wait on responding and when you do politely tell him that you had already made other arrangements and that the money had been paid or something along those lines.
Just because a person is a biological contributor does not mean that you owe them specific special privileges if they have done nothing to deserve them.
Post # 5
No, you don’t have to accept, and I don’t see why you would if you don’t even really want him there. I would just tell him that you already have all that taken care of, but thanks for the offer.
Post # 6
Thank you for the advice. It’s good to hear your points of view. I feel a lot less confused about this now. I don’t want him officiating when he doesn’t make enough time for me in the other areas of our lives.