Post # 1
Okay I will be honest here… I have a feeling that I cannot uninvite this person. I realize that that would be horrible and I am already prepared to hear it from you, bees. Should NOT have broken my rule of no verbal invites.
Last spring, I was out with my friends, and we had been drinking. One of them asked me about the wedding. She is one of my best friends so I was like “Yeah and I want you to come!” blah blah blah. And then I realized this other friend who is not as close was standing right there so I was like “oh you’re invited too” in my uninhibitedness and immediately regretted it. Since then, that second friend and I have NOT talked about my wedding at all (it is now 6 months later) and my wedding is in about a year. My best friend thinks I just shouldn’t bring it up with her and just not invite her. I’m not so sure. Any thoughts?
If I could just invite her and only her as one extra person on the guest list I would. But if I invite her, it opens up the can of worms of all the friends in that group who are that level of “closeness” to me. And to be honest, I don’t know if this person would come to my wedding anyways. It’s 1000 miles away where I grew up and we are grad students so it’s not like we have dispensible money around, and if we aren’t that close I feel like she wouldn’t come.
Anyways, let me know your thoughts bees, I’m at a loss, I’m ready to hear what you have to say. I know I made some mistakes here.
Post # 3
Short answer: NO!
But, you don’t have to pay attention to them as much, and you’ll be busy anyways!
Wait,. I re-read your post….you didn’t send invites yet? Tell them situation has changed, and you wish you could invite EVERYONE..but just not happening.
Post # 4
If you haven’t sent her a Save the Date or an invitation, I think you are fine to not invite her. It doesn’t sound like she would follow up and ask about it (if you haven’t talked in 6 months)
Post # 5
if you haven’t sent her a STD or invitation, then she is not invited.
don’t worry about it if you said this to her a year and half before your wedding.
if she brings it up, just say you had to limit your guest list.
Post # 6
Same as PP’s, just don’t invite her now. If she asks just say logistics couldn’t provide for you to invite all the people you wish you could have.
Im sure she won’t be horrified or anything, it doesn’t sound like she is pushing it or like she even really “expects” an invite 🙂
Post # 7
If you haven’t sent a STD or invitation, then you are not obligated, even though it is rude to go back on your word like that. You do, of course, need to be more careful in the future with who’s around when you’re talking about your wedding and giving out verbal invitations!
Post # 8
Thanks for the advice everyone! It’s not what I was expecting to hear but it is a relief! Now I feel like I can actually go about finalizing my guest list 🙂 THANK YOU!!!!
Post # 9
yea, I agree with the PP’s. no need to worrk about it.
Post # 10
I agree w pp too! if nothing was sent you have nothing to worry about.
Post # 11
I was unbridesmaided once. The friend and I had had a falling out anyway, and she decided she wanted to keep it really small with just family. I was fine with it.. I actually felt more awkward thinking I had to go when our relationship had changed.
Maybe this guest will be relieved.. you never know.
Post # 12
Do you think she remembers? Honestly that was before you were in the thick of wedding planning (I assume) so maybe she didn’t even take it that seriously.
I understand what you mean though. I am having a small wedding so only my very close friends are coming and a lot of my other friends were not invited. I thought about asking a couple of them, but then I felt like I’d have to ask the others that were just as close.
Honestly I would just not invite her. I don’t think a verbal invitation months prior is really that official.
Post # 13
@adoc86: +1, this. If you haven’t sent an invitation or save the date (I am not calling it an STD, ugh) then I think you are fine.