- 10 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
I’m so embarrassed to even be asking this that I had to create an anonymous account.
The big question is can I not send someone an invitation after I’ve already sent them a STD? I KNOW the answer is, “No, that’s completely rude,” and it is, but…it’s still bugging me.
The guest in question is a friend that I have known online for about 5 years (okay, so maybe that was my first mistake :(…I have met her IRL though) We used to talk regularly, then stopped talking for a year or so, and started talking again daily for 3 or 4 months. Since the beginning of this year, however, I haven’t really heard from her at all. Still, I sent her a STD because we had talked about my wedding in-depth and I had already told her she was invited (and at that point, I would have been fine with her coming). Now, the fact that we haven’t talked really at all for 3 months or so (my wedding is in 3 months) is making me less excited about inviting her. Plus, I am having some weird, negative feelings toward her because of her general attitude and outlook. I can’t really explain it in-depth, and she hasn’t done anything egregious, but I feel like we are just…not on the same page anymore. I don’t know that I consider us friends at this point, and since inviting her was kind of a stretch in the first place, I just don’t feel comfortable having her at the wedding anymore. On the other hand, I’m about 70% sure that she probably won’t come anyway, but I would rather just not send her an invite at all :/ We haven’t talked about anything, but I would think that she has to be feeling not close to me anymore either and that, based on that, she would decline, but you never know.
So, what do I do? Do i suck it up, invite her, and wait a few months to (hopefully) find out that she isn’t going to be able to make it? Do I tell her everything I just said here and hope she understands? I’m afraid she will take it the wrong way and think she did something really wrong, but really, it’s just that I don’t feel very close to her, and since we only know each other online really I feel like it would just be weird. If I hadn’t seen the STD I wouldn’t give a second thought about not inviting her, but I am envisioning the worst case scenario in my head, that she has already made travel arrangements and is planning on coming and me not inviting her would make her really mad and completely screw her over. I know this is wrong, but it is really, really bothering me, so much so that I’m dreading sending out my invites. I wish I had never sent out save the dates 🙁