(Closed) can I vent?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like this relationship needs work at the level it’s on before you take it to the next step. I wouldn’t keep taking someone back that kept breaking up with me or trying to break up with me. And I wouldn’t keep trying to go back to a relationship that I constantly feel the need to get away from. Sorry if that’s not much help, but getting engaged isn’t going to fix whatever problems you have. Sorting through your problems is the priority here, to see if you’re honestly compatible with each other for the long haul.

Post # 4
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@jumpthegun:  I agree. 

Do you want to be with him FOREVER or not?

Post # 5
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This doesn’t seem right at all 🙁 

I would be so upset if I were in your position; on one hand 6 years is a long time with someone; I have been with my SO for almost 6 year and never broken up. I love and trust him with every ounce of my being and know we are rigt for each other. You are thinking about counting days now? Just wait till you are married! If I were you I would rethink if you even should be together at all. I’m sorry I’m really not trying to be mean but marraige is forever. Good luck!

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d try to sort out the trust issues first, and get to the point where you’re not breaking up any more, before worrying about engagment and marriage.  if you’ve broken up and reconciled several times over the years, and you don’t fix the underlying issues, the only thing that will change once that ring is on your finger is that you’re divorcing and not just breaking up. Don’t put the cart in front of the horse. And don’t say “other people don’t have perfect relationships and they still get married” because, well, 50% of all marriages in the USA end in divorce.  

Post # 7
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with the previous posts.  It doesn’t sound like you are in a place in your relationship where you are ready to get engaged.  If you are whishy washy and don’t know whether to keep DATING than it’s not time to speak forever.  Being engaged is fun but once you get into the stresses of planning a wedding you really need to have a strong relationship that can withstand the stresses…and be ready to commit to be there for each other through thick and thin.  Ask yourself how long you are willing to stay with this man before you either get married or leave.  I know it’s hard to think of it that way but you don’t want to waste time in a relationship that is not going anywhere/needs a lot of work.  It’s not worth spending a lot of time in a relationship that isn’t a healthy, happy one.

Post # 8
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Has he ever done anything to make you not trust him? This guy seems very patient for dealing with the constant breaking up and getting back together…..

Post # 10
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

i would say stop breaking up with him and let him know what you are feeling. Communication is a very important building block for any relationship, and without it you have nothing. Communication, trust, honesty, fidelity, these are all very important to a lasting relationship. Getting engaged is only going to make your problems worse. Sit down with him, talk out your problems, and then worry about engagement.

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