(Closed) Can I Vent? "You Don't Have Kids YET?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 30
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

OMGGGGG, This is my life everyday! I find it sooo frustrating of people to pry (especially people you’re not close with) when it comes to personal information. I find that people have opinions on EVERYTHINGGGG. I am 23 and got married 3 months ago .. when I first announced the wedding date everyone that knew my age but didn’t KNOW me or were close to me were saying “ohhh, why don’t you guys wait, you’re soo young” I was a bit annoyed but brushed it off because I expected that!

Okay fast forward 3 months after the wedding these SAMEEEE people now hound me on a daily basis “when are you guys having babies” or “don’t wait too late, you only getting older”…. like hello!! the decision to get married was ME & MY (then) FIANCE!! (which was too young for you REMEMBERR) Now when WE decide have kids is up to ME & MY HUSBAND!! Thank you! ..

I simply smile and say well when we do .. I’m sure you’ll get an update and or just ignore them all together and move on!

 

UGHHHH People are sooo RUDE & NOSEY!

Post # 31
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Not even married yet and getting this. We have a dog, he is our baby. We are undecided on children so i just say “the dog is happy as an only child” or “we don’t think the dog wants to share” Don’t let them get to you and i’m sure god is thinking shut your traps you aren’t my messengers!  

Post # 35
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I get this sometimes too (without the God’s plan aspect), and I can usually just smile and say “When the time is right.” Now that I’m struggling with fertility issues, it’s getting harder to do, but I haven’t snapped on anyone yet.

The worst was when a male coworker (about 10 years older than me) told me that I “better get started soon if I want kids.” I never said I wanted kids (though I do), and I can’t figure out why he thought I needed his advice on matter.

Post # 36
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

I really hate this, me and Fiance have been together 6 years, got engaged in February this year and already people are saying kids next? 

No no no… My wedding next lol are these people crazy. Not to mention I have been told it’s very unlikely I will conceive naturally, I am so fed up already having to explain my situation (mainly to FI’s family)! 

I never ever ask pepole when are they going to have children you never know what their circumstances are. 

Post # 37
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I don’t mind if a friend or even acquaintance asks, “Do you think you will want kids?”

But I hatethe question, “When are you going to have kids?” because it implies that we WILL at some point. Talk about making an assumption…

Post # 38
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

I have a coworker that hounds me about kids. If I try to end the conversation or walk away she just follows me and keeps on bugging me so there is no way out. I have even responded rudely and she still asks every day. When I explain why I don’t want them (and I think I have some really good reasons!) she argues with me that I’m wrong. She’ll point blank ask me, “Are you pregnant?” and when I say no, she argues with that! And then I have to explain where I am in my damn cycle to justify my answer and she’s still like, “well you never know! I bled during the first few months of MY pregnancy!” It’s like, WHY are we talking about this?????

I’ve heard her doing it to other people too… she asked a woman in her early 40s whose child is grown up if she was going to have any more kids and another woman who just went through a difficult divorce and has 3 kids already and if she’s going to have any more.

I have no idea why she’s so invested in other people’s reproductive choices. Especially coworkers… if I had a kid it wouldn’t affect her in the slightest. We are not even int he same dept so it’s not like she’s gunning to take over my shifts or something. It’s bizarre.

Post # 41
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I get this from time to time but from a slightly different angle. I frequently get people suggesting that I might already be pregnant or that I never know when I might become pregnant. Ummm, I’m not into accidental pregnancies. And I’m sure I know better than you if/when it is likely to happen. I guess I just take offense to the suggestion that I’m living my life haphazardly. We have a plan. And we haven’t felt any need to share it with anyone else. 

Post # 42
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

vanessa1359:  My Mother-In-Law is the same way. We do want to have kids, but my hubs is just starting a second bachelors in engineering and they do not understand the amount of work and time that takes. The funny thing is now its a joke for my husband and I. We have just started teasing them about it because she did not have kids until her 30s and I amd in my mid 20s.

Post # 44
Member
2331 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

officialeboni:  We’ve been married for 6 months as of yesterday and it is almost an insult to my husband’s family, that we are not pregnant yet. 

Just yesterday I had to answer that question many times! I generally just say, we are practicing A LOT but don’t worry you will be the first one to know when it happens. (not the first one by any means, but there you go, do you feel special now?!?!?!?!?!) ugh.

Or I tend to say I don’t want kids. But my husband’s family is middle eastern, that answer to them is a freaking curse. I rather not have to listen to them say how awful that is for the next 45 minutes. 

Don’t let it get to you girl, we ALL go through that. Every single married woman in this forum has been in your shoes. What people say should be the least of your concerns. Enjoy your husband! 

Post # 45
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

Yes thank you! My older sibling got married about 7 years ago and they do not have any children yet. I should mention my family is also very relgious and all my cousins and friends have kids usually about a year after getting married. My sibling didn’t, opted to wait for a bit, and then had some other issues that got in the way. Since its been 7 years people have seemed to have stop asking, almost assuming they don’t want kids. I’m getting married in this upcoming year and am in grad school so I think people will understand if I wait till after that but I anticipate the same type of hounding soon after. Who’s buisness is it but mine and my SO? I think maybe some people can ask appriopriately but that random old lady from church who walks up to my sibling and asks whenever we come back home for Christmas- yea thats weird. 

Post # 46
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

Overjoyed:  ugh! I have a coworker like this. When I’m a little bit tired, or feeling a little off, she’ll be like, “are you pregnant?” And when I say no, she doesn’t believe me.

“Are you sure? Do you have your period RIGHT NOW? Because you never know!”

Um, back off. I am NOT pregnant, and not new to this whole birth control thing. 

The same coworker tried to convince me to have kids right away so that my body will bounce back. She has no children. Pffft. 

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