(Closed) Can I wear a black wedding dress? A little long, but I NEED help!!!

posted 11 years ago in Dress
Post # 32
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well as a widow I can say I’d never even dream of wearing a black dress to my wedding. The first thing that will pop into people’s minds is your deceased husband. Even if your Fiance is ok with it I would at the very least buy a new bridal dress that’s mixed with color so it not so morbid. You can always make your shoes, etc black. I personally love black but too much hidden subconcious meaning attached to a widow wearing black on her wedding day.

 You haven’t meantioned trying on other dresses? Maybe once you go to a bridal store and get a few on you’ll find one that takes you breath away. Trust me you can find one that flatters your figure as much or even better with a professional helping. I’d try on many many dresses before I fell back on that one….just my personal take on this as a widow .

Post # 33
4122 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When I first saw the title, I was going to come and say, “Go for it! These day’s weddings are about you and you can do what you want and should do what makes it you”

But, after reading your story, I’m totally with your mom on that one… I think Butterflyjessica nailed the response on this one….

Post # 34
1 posts
  • Wedding: March 2010

I say go for it!!!  Especially since your fiance is ok with it and that’s what you really want to wear. 

People used to wear black wedding dresses in the 1800’s and throughout history.  And it’s customary still today in Spain which is to symbolize that the bride is faithful until death.

Considering you are a widow to someone you lost too soon that you truly loved, why not honor him in your wedding too!  Everything happens for a reason and you have been blessed to find love again!  

I am wearing a black dress to my outdoor daytime wedding this March.  I do plan to spuce it up a bit with my red wedding bouquet and our dogs are going to be the dog of honour and best dog in our ceremony.  I’ve tried the more traditional dresses but they are not me.  Consider me rebellous but in wearing black to my first and only wedding, I am going for what suits me, what looks good on me, it was affordable and I would like to symbolize that I am going to be faithful until death.

People can get too caught up in traditions and/or superstitions and miss the big picture.  Your friends and family should be tremendously happy for you that you’ve found love again and support you in your decision because it is YOUR day…not theirs.  Let them wear white to the wedding if it makes them feel better.  People are going to gossip no matter what you do.  Do it for you not them.  You’ve already gone through the worst…the rest should be a piece of cake and not determined by the color of the dress you choose.


Congratulations to you and your husband to be!!! 

Post # 35
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What about a different dark shade like a really deep navy or purple?

If it is what you want, I think it is fine but I would definitely add some color in it so it doesn’t seem very dreary.

Post # 36
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Wear what YOU want to wear. If they are thinking about the widow, oh well for them. People wear white dresses all the time and not many are virgins. I know white is because of Queen Victoria, not pureness, but hey, it’s what everyone thinks, right?

Wear what you want. If you wear what someone else wants you to wear, you’ll be upset.

Post # 37
3448 posts
Sugar bee

I honestly don’t know how I feel about a bride wearing black. Originally when I first started looking at dresses (for my other engagement) I saw a gorgeous little strapless number. It was a white base, but all over it was black design. I thought that would be my wedding dress. Looking at it you’d call it white with black.

Obviously I never bought it as I’m with a man who’s 100 times better than the first one, but I think you can wear anything you’d like. I think that a dress that is 100% black is a bad idea for the bride. I do, however, think that a white dress with black design, or a black dress with a lot of white design, more than just detail, would look spectacular.

Honestly, I would ask what your FH thinks. He may think like your mother or he may love it. Just remember, it’s his wedding too.

Post # 38
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m not an advocate of black wedding gowns… regardless of pretty much any situation. I mean, I’d expect it of a friend if she classified herself as a goth or maybe at a Halloween wedding… other than that, I’d be one to sorta scoff. Sorry… white or pale wedding gown colors are just too traditional to mess with! I agree w/ other comments of unintended meaning behind the black wedding gown…

I also agree w/ another comment to wear it as a rehersal/dinner gown or after ceremony dress.

Post # 39
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Go for what makes you happy! Its clear that you have moved forward in  your life so there is no need to hide from what has happened or being kept from doing something you want to do because of what people will think about the past, its your wedding day and I feel like if you wear the black dress, it will show how strong and powerful you are that you have moved on positively and no color of a dress will prove differently

Post # 40
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You should definitely do what makes you feel happiest. However, as much as I love bucking the traditional stuff, I can’t help but balk at the idea of a black wedding dress. It seems a little morbid to me. Sometimes yes, but in your case, I say no. When I think of all black, I think of funerals and it can’t help but remind me of my brother’s accident, so I don’t see how you can avoid wearing black without bringing up your past, also. 

Perhaps you could brighten it up somehow–have it tailored and add some color to it or something?

I dunno, that’s just my opinion. If you care what people may think about the black dress, you may want to nix it. You don’t want a shadow hanging over your head. Have you considered maybe a silver color if you want to avoid white? Or wearing a big white sparkly sash or something?

Why don’t you wear it to an after party? I’m sorry, i really want to tell you to go for it, but it’s just not doing it for me =(

Post # 42
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is my second wedding as well. I was married in a full white gown and bended to what everyone else wanted. My marriage lasted 3 years and he was abusive.

This time Im doing everything my way. They can give me their thoughts and all but I dont have to take any of it.

Im getting married in a full black wedding gown.  No veil and its not gothic. Gothic is chains and pale skin. It is a very elegant color. The black dress is very popular in european weddings. Its elegant. Wear what you want. You dont want to resent it later. Good Luck hun!

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