Can I wear a tiara without looking OTT

posted 1 month ago in Accessories
Post # 31
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

I’m planning on having a tiara. In Scandinavia, it’s traditional for a bride to wear a wedding crown.

Post # 32
Member
1394 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think you should go for it! I wore a halo and loved it. 

Post # 33
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

If you’re on the fence about a tiara, you could always get a headband style one similar to this one.

Post # 36
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

A lot of comments advising to do what makes you happy even if you ended up looking inappropriate/ridiculous etc. My take on the situation is that, sure, feel free to wear what you like, do what you like etc. but just like we all can do what we please (unleas it hurts someone), the others can (and do!) form their opinions as they please and sometime even voice them. It’s good to be prepared for that.

Just an example; a few years ago I attended a wedding of my then colleague. It was her second wedding. She was a lady in her late 40’s. Her two sons (both in their late teens) were present at the wedding. The thing was that she wore a white, frilly princess gown with the whole lot (long veil, sparkly decorations etc).  She looked sad. Sure, it was her wedding, she clearly did what she wanted to do (=wore a completely inappropriate dress that made her look like a mutton dressed as lamb and worse; that didn’t suit her – she wasn’t exactly small in size). Of course nobody commented to her face and nobody told her that she looked ridiculous, but everyone was talking about it, behind her back. About how she had clearly lost it and at almost 50 pretended to be a princess (complete with wrinkles, sagging facial skin, undereye circles etc. Nothing wrong with those, it’s just that it doesn’t really go with a princessy type of dress). It was all quite sad and somewhat desperate. Amost as if she didn’t enjoy/didn’t make the most of her first wedding so she wanted to make up for that at the second wedding.

My point is that sure, everyone can do what they please. But they should also be aware that people will form their opinions. I get it; we s houldn’t live by what other people think, but I do think that if someone has the courage to be bold and do/wear what they please, they should be bold (and not angry or agressive) when they get some unpleasant feedback on their actions. You can’t have it both ways. In the case of my colleague she later heard it on the grapevine that some people had commented badly on her wedding dress….she was crushed. That’s kind of understandable, but if she had the courage to wear that kind of dress (she must have known, with an ounce of reasonable judgement, that it was not suitable at all), then she should have had the courage to face potential criticism afterwards, which she didn’t.

But then again, I am European, based in Europe, in here we’re less politically correct and don’t follow the  ‘do what you please, it’s your life’ rule to extremes. Usually.

Post # 37
Member
3410 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

londongeocity :  I’m from the US and very firmly in the camp of “do what makes you happy” and from where I’m standing y’all sound like pretty awful friends and not very kind humans. Who gives a shit that someone else wore something that they enjoyed and made them feel like a princess? It is truly so strange to me that you all said awful things about someone at their own wedding and then proceeded to make her feel bad in the days after her wedding all in the name of…what? What did you hope to achieve by making someone else feel like crap?

And kindness is not political correctness… 

Post # 38
Member
95 posts
Worker bee

londongeocity :  wow, you seem like a horribly judgemental person. I’m sorry you saw a bride wearing a big white dress that she loved on her wedding day and instead of being happy for her, felt so nastily and talked behind her back. I’m from Europe, though not sure why it matters, and think your attitude is what is sad to be honest. 

How awful she found out that the people who were meant to be there to celebrate with her had been cruel instead. 

Thankfully, OP, I really don’t think that behaviour is typical and think you should wear what you like!

Post # 39
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

kia2019 :   desertgypsy :  Well, I only shared my experience. It may well be that all 100+ of us, who were present at the wedding were awfully judgemental people. It could be that we all were unkind (btw nobody was making her uncomfortable at the wedding, she only got the feedback from some – not me- some time after the wedding. Which I guess doesn’t make any difference). The point is – what can you do? I read it in various threads over and over again that we can’t control other people’s behavious and thoughts, which we can’t, so that was a textbook example of that. Sure, probably not the nicest thing ever but I guess it’s human nature to form opinions, nice or otherwise. I guess some people shouldn’t have verbally said anything at all, but then again that wouldn’t have stopped them from thinking those less than complimentary thoughts. 

PS. the reason why I mentioned that I am European and in Europe is because there are a lot of Americans here in my city who seem very surprised at how ‘judgemental’ we all are as a society (isn’t that a judgement in itself?). I guess we may be. And the bride knew it (she herself was/ is part of that judgemental society). But anyway, I am very OT now, just wanted to clarify my point.

Post # 40
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

londongeocity : I have experienced similar things. OP, do what you want to do, but have the confidence to follow up on your decision. I think you will look beautiful in the garden theme tiara for your wedding.

Post # 41
Member
7828 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

londongeocity :  How horrible to have to go through life like this. I refuse to believe an entire continent is made up of sad pathetic husks like you. Something happened to turn you into this and I’m sorry for whatever that tragedy was. You might have come out a decent person but now all hope of that is lost. Pitiable.

Post # 42
Member
25 posts
Newbee

Post # 43
Member
32 posts
Newbee

marlos :  in what part of Scandinavia? Lol. Where is this myth coming from? That is simply not true. Jfgi.

 

But anyway, tiaras are beautiful! I wish it was more socially accepted to wear one in Scandinavia (it truthfully is not unless you are royalty, “regular brides” don’t wear one) as they really add that little *extra* to a beautiful wedding outfit. I love that all kinds of “ott”-things are accepted in the US. Embrace that! In Scandinavia everything always have to be very modest and “low profile”. Just google the description of the word “lagom” or the “jante law”. 🙂

Rock that tiara! /Scandinavian girl who would love to see more tiaras around here!

Post # 44
Member
7828 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

madicken :  Sweden. 10.3 million Google hits can’t be wrong.

Post # 45
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Daisy_Mae :  That is very weird. I guess the “myth”  is widely spread then. lol. I am from Sweden and I can clarify that the so called tradition is not widely practiced other than by royals and I cannot find any info about it being a tradition for non royal brides anywhere in Sweden in swedish! Very few (old, mostly “nobility families”)families might have some sort of old inherited crown. Also churches has a crown that people can use, but those have (sadly) not been used for ages. But some people inspired from very old/royal/American cultures will ofc wear one. But that is seen as very ott/silly/”American” by regular people, it does not come off as “traditional”.

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