(Closed) Can I wear cream to your wedding??? Um NO!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I feel like if you’re dressing yourself to be a guest at a wedding and you’re thinking
“hmm, is this appropriate wedding guest attire?” (be it because if color, length, hoe-iness, etc) then you probably should leave that item in your closet and go with something else.

 

Post # 33
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@fishbone:  Oh hell no!! Its definitly not the first color that comes to mind when you are thinking summer wedding uless you are the bride.  I cant even belive people would try to justify her reasons.  The only one who should wear white is the bride, thats that and everybody knows it.  I would be pissed if somebody else wore a with or cream or any shade close to it type dress.  Thats not ok, its tacky and selfish, no excuse!!  This shouldnt even have to be discussed, be respectful to the bride, let her stand out in her white dress!

Post # 34
Member
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I honestly don’t see the big deal.  I am not even sure why she asked.  I never ask anyone what I should wear to a wedding.  And I will not be dictating what my guests should or cannot wear.  That is silly.

Post # 35
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m kind of surprised at some of these responses! Whenever anyone makes an “Is this dress okay to wear to a wedding?” post, the general consensus seems to be, “When in doubt, ask the bride.”

She was in doubt, so she asked the bride. All you have to say is no. I guarantee you would be way more pissed had she just shown up in the dress.

Post # 36
Member
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m still not convinced that a guest in white is in any way going to steal a bride’s thunder or screw up anyone’s photos. If it’s all about the bride wanting to stand out, perhaps Bootsy Collins would make for a good wedding designer because there’s no way anyone could ever out-do the eye-catching level of his outfits, no matter what color. I think it’s kind of selfish  to declare an entire color off-limits just because you’re wearing it.

Post # 37
Hostess
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@fishbone:  And I would also say that it is selfish to wear something that a bride has specifically asked you not to. If a bride doesn’t care then by all means proceed. This guest asked OP and OP obviously has an issue…done deal.

There is no way anyone can convince me that they don’t have something else in their wardrobe that wouldn’t upset the bride. Call it bridezilla behaviour, call it ridiculous, call it tradition. Either which way the day isn’t about you as the guest so if you have huge issues with it I guess you could not attend and make a stand, otherwise opt for a pastel and save the white dress for the next big event.

 

Post # 38
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What about when the bride doesn’t wear white? If she wears red or blue instead? Is white still out, or does her colour take its place exclusively?

Post # 39
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@bridalprincess:  Some brides don’t really care, but it puts a bride that does want to do things a more traditional way in an awkward position when someone essentially says “hey, you’re not really into this guests not wearing white tradition right??” Any person would feel like a bit of a bitch telling someone “Actually yes, I’m quite traditional, and no, I don’t want you to wear that to my wedding”. It really puts a person in an awkward predicament. 

 Personally I couldn’t care less if someone showed up to my wedding in a floor length white dress and a tiara, but that’s just me. Every couple should have the right to decide what traditions are important to them. If it’s something that I don’t personally hold dear I should still be respectful of the fact that this is their day and it might be something that’s important to THEM.

 

Post # 40
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Treejewel19:  Agreed. Although, even if the bride doesn’t mind, a lot of other people in attendance will notice and DO care that it’s a wedding faux pas.

Personally, I’d rather avoid having my wedding attire choice be the topic of anyone’s conversation. And let’s face it. Women can be pretty bitchy. There are soo many other options and you just don’t need to wear white/ivory/cream to a wedding if you’re a guest.

Post # 41
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What?! Does this person has no other dresses in her closet? Pick one that is not in the white family. Cream, ivory, bone, off-white….these are all in the white family!

Post # 42
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s a bit crazy that people are throwing such a fit over this.  SO many traditional wedding rules are not valid these days.  This is another rule that I know plenty of brides don’t care about.  And again, there are still brides who adhere to this tradition.  I think the woman was very respectful for asking.  Things can get confusing…what is still a rule, what is now considered passe, etc. 

I personally think that worrying about what everyone on the guest list is a waste of time.  But then again, I’m one who thinks worrying about matching monogrammed napkins and place cards etc…are not what the day should be about.  It’s about you and the man you are going to spend the rest of your life with, and your love.  If someone else wears any shade of white/cream….will have absolutely no bearing on your marriage whatsoever. 

Post # 43
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Crazyhair:  I totally agree with you.

This ridiculous tradition just reinforces the idea that brides are these special princesses on their wedding day. A wedding day should be about celebrating with family and friends, not being the center of the universe. Why don’t the grooms complain when other men wear the same color suit as them? Because its literally the least important part of the day.

Post # 44
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JustHappy:   That’s true but the guys don’t spend hours with family and friends watching and/or spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on their getups for the day. I know not all brides do that either, but there is just SO much emphasis on the wedding dress. People are always asking me about my wedding dress when wedding talk comes up. People don’t typically ask what Fiance is wearing. Right or wrong, my opinion is to just avoid the white color family if you’re a wedding guest. More than likely you’ll end up offending someone, whether it’s the bride or not.

Post # 45
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Wow. Why is this woman being slammed so much? She asked a polite, perfectly reasonable question and now suddenly she’s some kind of devil woman… All this email required was a “I’d prefer for the guests to wear a different colour” or something, and then it’s over. This has been blown way out of proportion.

Post # 46
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t understand how people, espeically a 40 something year old woman can be so  insensitive 🙁 everyone knows that is the day for the bride to shine and those are her colors. I will be having my wedding at the beach and it will be hot but I would still be upset if I see any of my female guests wearing white or beige. 🙁

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