(Closed) Can I wear this dress to my sons wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
6301 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Tuttsy:  my personal opinion is that even if the bride is fine, other guests might not be (such as members of her family). For that reason I wouldn’t wear something that might attract the ‘wrong’ attention. 

FWIW, my Mother-In-Law wore a dress that was mainly ivory, with a pink and green floral print (we’d asked her to avoid ivory or green as those were the bridal party colours and we didn’t want the parents to match (should also add, that was only in response to a direct question, we didn’t randomly state that)), and several guests commented (and not in a good way). I just wouldn’t want to be ‘that’ person. 

I say that to make the point that even if you ask and she OK’s it, other guests may have an issue and think badly of you; and only you can decide if that bothers you. If it does, play it safe and wear something else. 

Post # 32
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Oh definitely not. Sorry!

Post # 34
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I’m usually okay with a white print dress for a wedding guest but since it’s full length and since beach weddings often mean the bride is wearing something less formal than in other settings, it may end up looking just a bit too bride like. 

Post # 35
Member
11945 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I wouldn’t wear white, but only because I know it upsets some people. I thought I leaned conservative, but color aside,  I would hardly call the OP’s dress attention grabbing or risque! Here is the Emily Post article. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/fashion/weddings/qas-wedding-etiquette.html?_r=0

“The Guest Wore White

I recently wore a white linen suit to an outdoor wedding. The wedding colors were purple and black, with the bridesmaids in black.

The bride, after the wedding, told me it was poor taste on my part to wear white to her wedding. I thought that rule was outdated, especially with black as an acceptable color for guests and bridesmaids.

Pat, Scottsdale, Ariz.

You are right. Wearing white — or black — to a wedding is off the taboo list. These days it’s simply a question of style. Plenty of women wear black dresses to formal evening weddings, and black is a popular color for bridesmaids’ dresses, as at this wedding. The same goes for wearing white, as long as you couldn’t be mistaken for the bride. And while it’s been the tradition for the past 150 years or so, there’s no rule that says the bride has to wear white either.

What really misses the boat is being told you committed a faux pas. That privilege belongs only to very close friends or relatives who have (one hopes) your best interests at heart. While you may be miffed by the bride’s comment, try to chalk it up to a bride who has had too much wedding aftermath going on. If she is a good friend of yours and you want to move forward with your relationship, put the comment behind you. Or if you feel comfortable saying something, you might tell her that you had a ball at her wedding, that she looked beautiful, and that, by the way, it is O.K. to wear white to a wedding these days. Times (and traditions) change.”

Post # 36
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

It’s amazing!!! Imagine it with a blue straw hat…I’d be so proud of my mother if she came to my beach wedding in that!

Post # 37
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

99% of the time, if you have to ask, the answer is no.

There are dozens of other colors one can wear to a wedding; I’ve never understood why anyone would even consider the one color they “shouldn’t.”

Post # 38
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

I would be angry and upset if my Mother-In-Law wore that to my wedding. Sorry Bee, it’s a no from me as well.

Post # 39
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Nooooo

Post # 40
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

in my opinion, the dress is ugly. so no…

Post # 41
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

Too much white. It’s pretty, but not entirely appropriate. 

Post # 42
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

TinderBoxx:  im with you.

 

This whole thread makes me so sad. I would be so proud of my mom if she could pull off such a lovely dress. If she felt beautiful that would be all that mattered to me. Do people seriously think that wearing white (WITH BIG BLUE FLOWERS ON IT!!!) is going to somehow upstage the bride or that people are going to mistake who the bride is?! I mean come on people. PEOPLE KNOW WHO THE BRIDE IS and there isn’t much that can take the attention away from the bride and groom, and a dress sure shouldn’t have that kind of power. I’m so disappointed in the amount of people that would still be so offended at someone wearing white to their own wedding. I honestly couldn’t care less what my guests wear, even *gasp* and all white dress. Hell, one of them could even go buy a bridal gown and wear it if that makes them feel better, I’ll be the one saying my vows, dancing with my new husband and enjoying everyone celebrating my new marriage. Weddings sure bring out the crazy in people, in no other situation other than a wedding would some of this nonsense even matter. smh…

OP wear the dress you want to wear and if it will help make you feel better, just ask the bride directly. 🙂

Post # 43
Member
1451 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

Don’t. There are 600 million dresses in the world. Pick one that isn’t white.

Post # 44
Member
807 posts
Busy bee

Tuttsy:  I don’t understand why “heavy colors are out.” I think you are okay in any color, even if it’s on the beach. Now, I wouldn’t rock a black gown, but even if it was a dark colored maxi/sun dress I think that would be more than okay.
My SIL got married on the beach in Mexico and her mom wore this adorable hot pinkish/coral dress, which I think was perfect for the event.

Post # 45
Member
3905 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I woildn’t but I would ask the bride…

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