(Closed) Can I wear this dress to my sons wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
7372 posts
Busy Beekeeper

It wouldn’t bother me personally. It’s clearly not a bridal dress and I think its apporiate for a beach wedding. But because some people have higher sensitivity, so I vote no. 

Post # 47
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

It’s a beautiful dress. I think it’s absolutely fine, that dress isn’t remotely bridal. Ask the bride for some peace of mind. If she says it’s okay then it is. 

Post # 48
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

stardustintheeyes: Thanks for saying that. You expressed it beautifully.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  TinderBoxx.
Post # 49
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

stardustintheeyes:  I dont think she is worried someone would mistake her for the bride….its more to avoid side eyes.  As the mother of the groom I think you would get more side eyes for wearing a mostly white dress.  There are a lot of stigmas about Mother-In-Law and Bride relationships….acurate or not they exist.

Post # 50
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

Nope, I wouldn’t wear it. And I wouldn’t ask the bride either – my Mother-In-Law asked me about dresses and I ALWAYS felt super uncomfortable telling her yes or no (we get along, but we’re not close). It seems childish to ask the bride for permission to wear something. If you have to ask, just don’t wear it and pick something you KNOW is appropriate. 

P.S. Congratulations on your son’s wedding!

Post # 51
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

You should be asking the bride this question, not us! She’s the only one that will be able to give you a yay or nay. Unless the wedding is super formal though I’d probably shorten it a bit to give contrast to her bridesmaids and her dress – that’s an easy alteration.  After you ask her, I’d also call your son and double check that her answer was not just being polite. After a lot of dress MOB shopping my mom went and joked, I’m going to wear off-white! I excitedly replied “Really? That’d be awesome!” It took her completely by surprise and she ended up getting the dress below. It looked so lovely in all of our photos.

010_037397_315

Post # 52
Member
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

sonyazach87:  that still is rather pathetic that people care so much about someone’s outfit choice on a couple’s wedding day. Honestly I can’t tell you what any of the parent’s of the groom or bride wore on their wedding day, and this year alone I have been to 6 weddings. Just last weekend there was one for a cousin who I am very close to. I don’t remember what my aunt wore. I know it was a pretty dress of some kind but I do remember how happy my cousin looked, how fun dancing with my family was, how tasty the food was, and how i’ll never forget seeing my cousin dance with my uncle. Those are the things that should matter to guests at a wedding and to the couple for that matter.

my point is, anyone who is judgemental enough to assume anything over a dress the MOB or MOG chooses to wear based on a color, seriously needs to rethink their priorities, there are much better things to focus on at a wedding. So, to be honest, I don’t care if people were referring to worrying about the OP getting the side eye from guests, that’s still a rather sad state of affairs that that’s the types of things that happen at a wedding when it should only be about the couple getting married.

for the record, I used to care about these things too, until my godmother was literally almost on her deathbed at my wedding and I didn’t get to have my wedding that I planned for and instead did a very quick intimate wedding. Under those circumstances, I couldn’t have cared less what my guests wore and was more concerned with being able to have those people there at all, nevermind their clothes. I can promise you that for anyone who has lost a parent before they were able to get married, they most likely wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if their mother wore all white, as long as she was there. It’s just a really stupid detail to get hung up on and i’ll never understand why weddings bring this kind of thing out in people.

 

Post # 53
Member
4839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Tuttsy:  That’s a lot of white.  Gorgeous dress, I’d save it for another occasion.  🙂

 

Post # 54
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Nooo! Don’t be that mother in law!

Post # 55
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

stardustintheeyes:  Im sorry to hear about your godmother.  Yes I do agree that its not important to every person , but it could be to this bride.  Yeah it is super judgemental and petty to think like that, but again there are people still out there that do.  Why ruffle feathers if you dont have to.  OP obviously had some reservations about the dress or she wouldn’t have asked.

Post # 56
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Villa in Florence, Italy

Too much white for me! I would be a little upset.

Post # 57
Member
3523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Tuttsy:  uh, no. I could actually see someone wear that as a wedding dress for a casual beach wedding. 

Post # 58
Member
7910 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

The dress is “interesting.” Besides the whiteness of the dress, the splotches don’t make sense to me. The neckline is nice though. Surely there is another dress that can be worn for the occasion. 

Post # 59
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No do not wear that. Maybe some rules have changed over the years but as MOB you will be in a lot of photos with the bride and peoples’ eyes will go straight to it.  And as I’ve seen other bees post I totally agree with the opinion that there are so many beautiful dresses out there why wear white for a wedding save it for another day and event.

Post # 60
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If you have to ask, the answer is probably no. 

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