Can I wear this dress to my sons wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

I know this has already been said, but NO especially since you are her Future Mother-In-Law. That makes it so much worse and if you ask her if its okay that will put her in a really awkward situation because she probably even if shes not okay with it she will feel a lot of pressure to say yes just because its you.

Post # 77
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

LilliV:  Definitely agree and I think it would actually be inconsiderate to ask the bride about a dress that is primarily white.  Regardless of your relationship, it would be uncomfortable for a bride to tell her Future Mother-In-Law what not to wear (esp. if it’s already been purchased).  A Future Mother-In-Law can certainly communicate with the bride to be sure her dress coordinates well and does not compete with bridesmaids and MOB, but she ought to propose an appropriate dress, not one mostly white, even for beach/tropical.

Post # 78
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

Also, for those saying this could not be “confused with the bride”– for a more casual beach/tropical destination I actually think this dress could be a lovely and unique bridal dress.  (For me, whether it’s bridal or not, if it’s white it’s a “no” esp. for MOG).

Post # 79
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Its really pretty, but i wouldnt. I think its a stupid tradition that people get so offended by wearing white but they do. It was talked about in my family for years when my mom wore a light tan dress to my cousins wedding. 🙁

Post # 80
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Super cute dress, not for a MOTG! 

Post # 81
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

mrsfry2015:  You’re certainly right that it wouldn’t matter to many, but it’s a question of etiquette posed on the etiquette boards, so for that reason tradition (& traditional etiquette) prevails in this case.  (Etiquette is an evolving thing, though, so maybe it won’t be such a no-no in the future!)

Post # 82
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

If I went to a wedding where the Future Mother-In-Law was wearing that I would wonder if she supported the marriage or not. If just doesn’t seem like an appropriate Future Mother-In-Law dress to me.

Post # 83
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Wear it well.😀

Post # 84
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

If you really love the dress, run it by your son. He will know if it will bother FDIL and if it looks too bridal. You can also reach out to FDIL’s mom and try to coordinate with her as to what to wear.

Post # 85
Member
432 posts
Helper bee

Of course you can. It’s a beach wedding. Nobody will mistake you for the bride. 

Post # 86
Member
8173 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Persephone:  

Nobody  ever thinks  this.  Not wearing white is about showing respect for the idea that white is considered to be the bridal colour . It not about being  mistaken for the bride   Sheesh!!

Plus,  the OP is the Future Mother-In-Law……

Post # 87
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

No no no no no! And dont ask her, because asking her about wearing a white formal almost bridal looking dress shows almost as much about you as it would showing up tothe wedding that way. She will most likely be polite and say ita okay, when really its not and to even question it is offensive like you dont approve or want to have control of her and your sons day and her and your sons lives. 

Post # 88
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

No! My mother in law wore solid ivory and I was not happy, especially when we were in photos together! 

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