Can you just be friends with someone you are attracted to?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

All of my guy friends are men I don’t find attractive. I don’t think I’d put myself in a situation where I’d be good friends with someone I’m very attracted to. I trust myself, but that’s just playing with fire, and as pp said, could lead to an emotional affair.

I’m sure other women can be platonic friends with someone they find attractive but I just wouldn’t want to be.

Post # 32
138 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t want to. Too much tension when there’s attraction involved. I like to be relaxed when I ‘m with friends. 

Post # 33
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve done it. I don’t think any of the guys even knew that I’m attracted to them. And once, I stayed friends with an ex after a breakup. No one knew I had any feelings left, not even the ex.

But maybe I’m just used to hiding my feelings because I grew up in a crummy family.

Post # 34
1386 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I don’t know, honestly. I’ve had CLOSE friendships with multiple guys and they all either were gay or they ended up liking me. I feel like it’s possible to be just friends but it makes things difficult if one person is attracted to the other. And personally, when I was close friends with a guy I found attractive (as in, I would date them, not just looks) I ended up with feelings for them. One I dated and the other just left me highly confused. I think if you aren’t really close friends then yes maybe but if you’re hanging out a lot, one on one, etc it becomes hard.

Post # 35
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

View original reply
mrsbarack :  I might be in the minority too, but I feel like a further tweak would be, I don’t think men and women can be best friends with attraction in play, or even when you’re older. I know I might get some heat for that, but from what I’ve seen, there’s always ONE side who wants more. 

By best friend, I mean someone you share your secrets with, desires, pain, and run to for advice. When you do this with someone other than your husband/wife, I do see that things can tend to get very messy and someone always gets hurt. 

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