- 5 years ago
So I saw a thread posted in a group I am a part of on facebook, that was talking about mothers and their children, and more specifically, mothers and daughters, and the inability to be friends with your children, as it supraseeds your role as a parent. Many, if not a huge percentage, stated that they are not their daughters friends, they are their parents, first and foremost, and they cant be parents their children if they are their “Friends.”
Now, Im not technically a parent yet( currently pregnant at almost 9 weeks with my first) but I was privileged to have had the most amazing mom in the world, and honest to God, the most caring,selfless, kind hearted and most down-to-earth, beautiful woman and person, I have ever met. My mom passed away at age 57 in November from pancreatic cancer (she is my angel now) but even from a young age, even though my mom was my “parent” and “mom,” she was also my friend. We were always close, from going on adventures just the 2 of us, to going to scrapbook conventions together back in the day, to photo day trips with clubs, to hanging out just the 2 of us( my older siblings were older and always fell into the “im too cool for my parents stage” that eventually died off when they had children themselves) I still hung out with my other friends and had other activities going on with kids/young people my own age, but I never, ever thought it was “uncool” to hang out with my mom. My dad on the other hand, a sweet loving guy, but I definitly didnt want to hang out with him many times during the growing up teenage years, and remember he was hurt by this, but told him, Im a girl and closer to my mom. And so my mom and me got even closer, and I could basically tell her anything, and truly not a day went by that I didnt talk to her and she became what I considered, “one fo my best friends.” She was even one of my bridesmaids at my wedding and I couldnt be prouder to have her standing up next to me on my big day.
Now, I know not all mother/daughter relationships are like this, and some have more strained relationships than others( maybe due to one circumstance or another or one side of the relationship or the other) so of course, not every relationship should or even, can be like a friendship rather than just parent to child..BUT… I will say, at least in my own circumstance, that I believe moms can be friends with her children. Maybe depending on the dynamic and relationship, it will have to happen when they are older, and their children are more grown so they are able to be more friends, or again maybe it cant happen at all, but I disagree with the notion that mothers can never be friends with her daughters/children, and that they strictly have to be parents. I know perhaps it can be hard to be friends with your children when you have to parent them and you dont want them to be confused, i understand that, but I guess for me at least, i was able to differentiate the friendship aspect with my mom, with the parent aspect, at least from an age.
What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with the notion, that mothers cant be friends with their daughters/children?